Rootless

by Krystle Zara Appiah

Efe nods, wringing her hands. “I know. I just worry. We’re not always on the same page. Sometimes I think I’m going to let him down or screw things up. He wants us to be a family with kids and all of that, and I want him, I do, but not the rest of it. He says it’s fine right now, but he’ll just keep pushing and—” Efe’s voice cracks. Tears gather in her eyes.

This is interesting to me because I’ve been wondering since the start of the story if Efe told Sam she didn’t want children. Although I felt like without her saying it, it was pretty obvious before she barely liked being around them. If Sam knew he wanted children why marry Efe? Both of them were a little silly for feeling like the other would change their minds.

“Maybe it’s for the best,” Sam says. “I know how much you’ve put into that project, but there’s really no rush to go back. Liv’s only going to be this age once, isn’t that what all the parenting books say? Don’t you wanna be here for it?”

Sam is so fucking selfish 🙃 Her entire life has changed for something only he wanted, if we’re being honest. She’s miserable and her mental state is declining and he’s oblivious. As long as it doesn’t get in the way of what he wants and his “plans.” The more I read the less sympathy I have for him. The way he tried to use her mom to manipulate her into not going to that meeting. She was already hanging on by a thread, why would he feel like that was ok?

At this Efe breaks. She is fuming. “That’s all I’m meant to do, huh? Think about the child. Think about my husband. Do what everyone wants even if it makes my life miserable. You want to know why I’m here?”

“I wonder why we do that,” she says. “Do what?” “Measure a woman’s strength by the amount she is able to endure?”