How to Sell a Haunted House

by Grady Hendrix

“This is my house,” Aunt Honey said, “and I don’t want anyone calling anyone else an ‘a-hole’ when what they mean to say is ‘asshole.’ That includes you, Gail. Say what you mean, or get out.”

This queen is a vibe.

“A puppet is a possession that possesses the possessor.”

“Barb is an expert on cursed dolls,” Aunt Gail explained. “Don’t worry!” Barb laughed, seeing Louise’s expression. “Dolls and puppets come under the same department as far as the Lord is concerned. I do dolls, I do puppets, I once even did a blow-up s-e-x doll. Now, that one was wild, let me tell you. Come on inside and let’s pray together.”

This book is wild.