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March 24 - March 27, 2023
Proud Immortal Demon Way was a monster-fighting, escapist cultivation novel with an incomparably ridiculous length, a golden finger that broke every rule, and a harem size nearing three-digits, seeing as every single female character fell for the protagonist.
The male lead of this novel, Luo Binghe, was neither the kind who started heroic and invincible, like a proud dragon of the heavens, nor the kind who was a loser, a good-for-nothing without merit—yet he managed to trend with tens of thousands of readers on Zhongdian Literature, inspiring countless other male fantasy novels to follow in his footsteps. He was the kind of lead who was pitch-black, dark, and vicious, though before his heart blackened, he was the kind who suffered misery after misery.
Growing up in such an unhealthy environment became the foundation of Luo Binghe’s future twisted personality post-darkening—his inclinations to fight over every scrap, seek revenge for the smallest grievance, and hide murderous intent behind a smile.
“Dumbfuck author, dumbfuck novel!” With his dying breath, Shen Yuan spat this final curse.
Proud Immortal Demon Way, by Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky1. Just looking at that euphemistic handle smacked you in the face with a dirty feeling. Grade-school level writing with landmines everywhere, breaking all suspension of disbelief. And Shen Yuan couldn’t bear to call that incoherent mess of a world the author had built a cultivation setting.
All right, skipping that last one for the moment—who had been the culprit behind the scores of atrocities? Exactly what was the purpose of the unending list of characters so hyped up for being awesome and without equal? Why did none of them make an appearance, even at the very end?!
In the endless darkness, a mechanical voice sounded by his ear: 【 Activation code: “Dumbfuck author, dumbfuck novel.” System automatically triggered. 】
【 Welcome to the System. This System operates in line with the design concept “YOU CAN YOU UP, NO CAN NO BB”2;
It is our sincere wish that during your time, you can fulfill your desires and, in accordance with your wish, transform a stupid work into a magnificent, high-quality, first-rate classic. We hope you enjoy. 】
Yue Qingyuan was a bleeding heart, nothing to be afraid of. Though his character ended up suffering quite a bit, during his read, Shen Yuan had been rather fond of him.
He was in no position to lament the horrors of other people’s deaths—the most horrific death was his own, okay?! Henceforth, he had to avoid any critical errors! First: eliminate any mistake at the root. Second: from now on, cling madly to the male lead’s thighs. Third: be a good mentor and helpful friend who is earnest and gentle in his teachings; meticulously show the male lead every kind of concern.
In his previous life, Shen Yuan had been well-off growing up, and he’d basically qualified as a modest example of a second-generation rich kid. His two older brothers had been set to inherit the family business, and he’d doted on his little sister. The entire family had been very close.
Perhaps due to this carefree upbringing, devoid of either competition or pressure, he came to believe that ranking in the top ten of a competition was good enough, so long as it had more than ten people. Therefore, he’d never understood what scum villains like Shen Qingqiu were thinking as they dug their own graves.
It was a fine-featured face with pitch-black eyes and brows, thin nose and lips, and a most scholarly air. Combined with a slender body and long legs, he could more or less be considered beautiful. Though his real age was unclear, this was a cultivation novel: Shen Qingqiu had achieved Mid Core Formation, which meant he’d perfectly preserved his youthful appearance.
“Then how can I raise my B-Points?” 【 One, change the nonsensical plot and raise the average IQ of the villains and supporting characters. Two, avoid landmines that break suspension of disbelief. Three, ensure the main character’s satisfaction points. Four, discover and finish hidden plot events.
Luo Binghe’s two eyes were as bright as morning stars—a tender shoot of a handsome young man. That firm yet humble countenance, demonstrating his noble and unyielding spirit. That pencil-straight back and stance, evincing a proud core that would rather break than bend! In that instant, a flood of parallelisms and other stylistic devices flooded through Shen Qingqiu’s heart, passage after passage jumbling together into countless stanzas of praise that almost spilled forth out of his mouth.
At this point in time, Luo Binghe’s face was still full of innocence, his smile sincere and gentle like the warm dawning sun. Shen Qingqiu stared at it for a while, then turned his head away.
“This disciple will henceforth redouble his efforts and not let Shizun be disappointed,” Luo Binghe happily continued. Eh, no, if you redouble your efforts, I’m guessing your original master would really be disappointed…
Shen Qingqiu was an easygoing person. Since his residential address had already changed to Proud Immortal Demon Way, and since he’d already kicked the bucket in his original world, he figured he might as well try making it work here.
Shen Qingqiu’s Qing Jing Peak wasn’t the tallest, but it was the most tranquil, heavily forested with tall bamboo. On top of that, as basically all of Shen Qingqiu’s disciples needed to learn the four scholarly arts of guqin playing, Go, calligraphy, and painting, from time to time the clear sounds of reading and the murmur of the guqin would drift on the breeze.
Shen Qingqiu’s character settings were stuck on “shady hypocrite.” Since on the surface he looked pure-hearted, free of desire, and immune to wicked temptations, then beneath that surface he had to be immoral, shameless, scummy, and despicable. He was a teacher, but he harbored filthy intentions toward his obedient and cheerful disciple. He tried to carry them out several times in the story, and he very nearly succeeded.
How could someone who’d cursed “dumbfuck author, dumbfuck novel” remember ancient content from the beginning of a serialized novel that had been running for four years and covered an in-narrative span of two hundred years? He’d spent twenty days binging the novel from start to finish,
Your IQ and EQ, young lady! The male lead is taking all the collateral damage! Ning Yingying absolutely hadn’t considered the consequences of these words as she said them.
“Luo-shidi, you sure are stuck-up, refusing to show Ning Yingying-shimei your pendant,” he snarled. “If this keeps up, when we face strong enemies in the future, will you refuse to even lend a hand?!” Young man! There’s definitely a logical gap between your first and second lines!
【 OOC. 】 “Thank you. Shut up.”
【 Severe OOC! Severe OOC! Severe OOC! Important things must be repeated three times! In this situation, Shen Qingqiu would choose to smile! He would watch from the sidelines, hands in his sleeves! Or personally beat Luo Binghe himself! 】 Was it really going to make him look on while a child was being abused? This was really too much… Even so, Shen Qingqiu couldn’t afford to take risks.
The gang of disciples heard the order and tackled Luo Binghe. Shen Qingqiu unconsciously tore off a nearby handful of leaves and sent them all singing through the air. He regretted it as soon as they left his hand. The fuck am I doing? No matter what happens, Luo Binghe is the magnificent male lead. It’s not like he’s never been ganged up on before. Like they could beat him to death! Like hell you need to worry, self!
Yue Qingyuan came to visit him many times. As the sect leader of the world’s foremost major cultivation sect—which might be likened to being the principal of a comprehensive cultivation university—his workload had to be heavy. Yet he was still so considerate to his shidi. As a stranger in a strange land, Shen Qingqiu practically wanted to shed tears of gratitude.
Shen Qingqiu agreed, still smiling, but he couldn’t help giving Yue Qingyuan two extra glances. Zhangmen-shixiong, your current role, it’s getting a bit too much like a quest-giving NPC…
Before leaving Qing Jing Peak, Shen Qingqiu briefly inspected his appearance. Teal robes, loose sash, sword at left hip, fan in right hand, elegant, cultured, reliable, graceful! A properly otherworldly being!
Why aren’t we flying on swords?” 【 Even in a magical setting like Harry Potter, not every wizard goes out riding brooms, 】 the System coolly replied. 【 It would be too conspicuous. 】 “You sure are knowledgeable,” Shen Qingqiu muttered. “Did you do business over at Harry Potter’s before?” The System typed out a giant line of hovering symbols: 【…】
It was hard not to be moved by that earnest and focused bearing—it was especially hard for Shen Qingqiu, who already had some fondness for this male lead.
He was, indeed, very fond of this ruthlessly decisive protagonist, who was so clear-cut with who deserved his kindness and who his hatred.
Shen Qingqiu held his forehead. Really, young lady, your timing! Ning Yingying was a powerful catalyst in the continued worsening of Ming Fan’s and Luo Binghe’s relationship. Whenever she appeared, Luo Binghe was in for no shortage of suffering, and Ming Fan was in for an equal amount of personal grave-digging.
Novels are a type of artistic creation, and in any artistic creation, there are always decisions that must be made and things that must be left out. Now that you’ve become part of this world, you naturally have to experience everything yourself, regardless of importance—you must follow every plotline to the very end, even ones omitted from the original work.
This was only a book, and all the people were constructs, imaginary characters. Logically, Shen Qingqiu was very clear on this fact…but when a character was actually being taunted and bullied right before his eyes, it was just flat-out unrealistic to expect him to be completely unmoved.
【 Shen Qingqiu would never do anything to alleviate Luo Binghe’s troubles. Verdict: OOC level 100 percent. 】 “Have you carefully examined this character’s complicated inner world?” Shen Qingqiu countered. “Of course he would never do anything purely to alleviate Luo Binghe’s troubles. But right now, my goal is to prevent Ning Yingying from losing faith in me as her teacher. Yingying is my dearest little disciple, and she begged me! How could I let her plea go unheard?” 【…】
Luo Binghe thought for a moment. It seemed to him that he had never been this close to his teacher before and that he had never had an opportunity to carefully examine Shen Qingqiu like this. Appearance-wise, you couldn’t complain about him. Perhaps Shen Qingqiu couldn’t qualify as supremely beautiful, but he was certainly good-looking, and you wouldn’t tire of looking at him. The profile of his face, in three-quarter view, seemed to have been carved by creeks and mountain springs, and when not fixed in a cold scowl, it became gentle and bright.
The System had delivered a notification. 【 Violation: OOC. B-Points -5. Current B-Points: 165. 】 Sayeth Shen Qingqiu: “Even a brief smile warrants a deduction?” Sayeth the System, most righteously: 【 OOC is OOC.
Up until now, he’d been hunkered down inside Qing Jing Peak’s Bamboo House, forced to fake being an awesome master of arts and literature, meaning everything he did had to be done “blandly”: blandly speaking, blandly laughing, blandly practicing the sword, blandly being a poser—bland to the point that he often had the urge to scatter a handful of salt over his head! What a damn pain!
To tell the truth, Shen Qingqiu was extremely satisfied with Ming Fan as a disciple. Even though he was a rich young master and spoiled rotten, he was never even a little arrogant in front of his teacher. Instead, he was absolutely obedient and incredibly respectful. A man could never dislike being worshipped like a god. Ming Fan had also single-handedly handled the travel preparations, from arrangements of food to lodging. If his IQ hadn’t inevitably plummeted whenever he laid eyes on the protagonist, transforming him into a schoolyard bully capable of any misdeed, he would also be a
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Shen Qingqiu knew this absolutely wasn’t Luo Binghe’s fault. Ning Yingying’s role as a female character wasn’t just to be lovable and cute but also to dig her own grave and be a burden. In the original work, the number of plot twists caused by her sudden disappearances, blunders, or other messes, had allowed Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky to drag out the plot for hundreds of chapters.
Shen Qingqiu could only say that, as expected, the brilliant protagonist truly was overwhelmingly cool, awesome, insane, and badass, with a dick longer than the heavens.
He looked incredibly pitiful. Shen Qingqiu wanted to pat his head, but as the System’s existence obstructed this, he forcibly held himself back.
【 We notice that you have encountered difficulties. Would you like to spend one hundred B-Points to activate easy mode? 】 “Shit, if there was something like an easy mode, you should have said so earlier!” Shen Qingqiu snapped. “Activate, activate, activate!”
This easy mode was straightforward to the point of mercilessness! It had delivered him straight into the boss’s mouth! The worst part was that the dignified Peak Lord of Qing Jing Peak had been unexpectedly struck down by a mini-boss, and thus, shortly after he woke up, the System shrilly declared: 【 OOC, B-Points -50. 】
He’d! Been! Stripped! Naked! Only his upper half had been stripped naked, but that was already horrifying enough. Regardless of everything else, Shen Qingqiu was still a peak lord! This appearance, with his upper half stark naked, his lower half wearing only a pair of pants and white shoes, and his four limbs bound tightly with a thin rope as he lay sprawled on the floor— What! Was! This?! He looked exactly like a tender pretty boy caught in bed during an illicit act. No wonder the System had deducted fifty points straight off the bat—it was deserved! Even taking him to zero would have served
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The Skinner Demon said nothing again as they lifted their veil—then she snapped in irritation. “Impossible! How did you guess?!” Shen Qingqiu was speechless. Did she think he was blind? That he couldn’t tell from her figure? Men loved to look at bodies first before the face, okay?
This villain’s professional integrity was really impressive. Not only had she exposed her inner thoughts and feelings, she’d also explained her methods and line of criminal reasoning in detail. Offering examples, providing personal experiences—Die-er was more diligently thorough than a college-entrance-exam cram-school teacher!
In any case, right in this moment, the demon was wearing the infinitely lovely face of a concubine. Being felt up all over by those lovely hands, Shen Qingqiu inevitably became embarrassed, and he involuntarily shrank back a little. This vision—that moment—struck Luo Binghe to his core. Until now, he’d only ever seen Shen Qingqiu’s aloof and remote attitude, his derisive expression. But here and now, a faint, uncontrollable red flush formed on that face, and the way those eyes darted away… Also, Shen Qingqiu’s upper body was completely bare but for the thin yet unbreakable immortal-binding
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