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July 26 - August 7, 2022
“Dumbfuck author, dumbfuck novel!” With his dying breath, Shen Yuan spat this final curse.
Shen Qingqiu didn’t even want to pretend to meditate, so he lay on the bed, just pretending to be dead.
What’s the difference between this and a third-rate melodrama where the male and female leads are just about to marry when they’re suddenly hit by a car in a tragic twist ending? Downvote!
Shizun had specially given this manual only to him! Shen Qingqiu glanced back a couple of times and saw Luo Binghe still standing there, dumbstruck. He rubbed at the spot between his brows and kept walking. He didn’t know what Luo Binghe was thinking, but the boy was almost certainly thinking too much.
In his headcanon, Liu Qingge had been a sharp and manly man, powerful and magnificent. A war god, right?! Shen Qingqiu looked down at that face, as beautiful as a fine woman’s, and his dreams shattered and died. The fantasies he’d always held, destroyed.
Could Shen Qingqiu really have helped him? Just thinking about this possibility filled Liu Qingge with revulsion. He would rather have died.
You’ve traveled thousands of miles from the Demon Realm, crossing land and sea, and after arriving you even climbed this tall mountain barefoot? Young miss, do…do your feet really not hurt?
Can’t be helped, the unobtainable ones are always the best. ╮(￣▽￣”)╭
Luo Binghe found it very hard to not care about that gaze. Why exactly did Shen Qingqiu keep looking at him? Was it possible that Shizun…really had an interest in him?
Not Shen Qingqiu spending legit pages describing the beauty of the women in front of them, how their prowess and sensuality knows no bounds and could bring a man to his knees, how they represent the perfect male fantasy, meanwhile Luo Binghe blushes when Shen Qingqiu glances in his direction. It’s so fucking funny that the man with a harem of over 300 is gay for his teacher
Whether you attained victory or suffered defeat, both were acceptable outcomes. You need not be concerned. You need only take back the victory in the future.”
“He will win,” Shen Qingqiu said lightly.
Thus did Student Luo Binghe’s colorful imagination successfully activate the Massive Fog of Misunderstandings System.
Shen Qingqiu watched him bloom, and without knowing why, his hand suddenly itched, wanting to pat that head again. Was it possible that Bing-ge’s head had a special magnetic field? That would explain why he couldn’t control himself.
In this section, Luo Binghe should be cozying up with a maiden, and the maiden is responsible for unraveling his complexes and using love to help him defeat his inner demons. How come I’ve been thrust into this role?! Where is the promised deep and emotional heart-to-heart where she’s accepted into his harem? Where is the promised little shimei who refuses to leave him either in life or in death?!”
Shen Qingqiu IS the maiden who Luo Binghe wants to cozy up with!
Thus, we can give him a more direct and intimate nickname: the Portable Grandfather.
To hand out the wrong script at this point! Also, if you’re giving me extra parts, could you at least offer me complimentary meals?! Taking on a main character’s long and tedious lines while being paid an extra’s thin and meager wages. This was labor exploitation!
The latter’s entire mind was filled with the thought of, I finished my friendship performance; I can finally leave work now, and he was extremely cheerful. He even felt like teasing his student. “The senior is asking for the young hero,” he said. “Why don’t you reply?”
“Even if I did encounter something, could this master not handle it?” Shen Qingqiu boasted shamelessly. Of course he couldn’t handle it!
Shen Qingqiu seemed to be paying extra attention to him today. He couldn’t help but smile. “Why does Shizun keep looking at me?” he asked. “Could it be that this disciple was gone for so long that Shizun also missed him?” “I’m not allowed to look at someone I raised?” asked Shen Qingqiu. Luo Binghe chortled. “Of course Shizun is allowed. Am I pleasing to look at?”
he disdained all exposure to the wind, sun, and rain.
It tracks that he was an incel in his previous life
“Beautiful beyond comprehension?” he muttered. She wasn’t even showing her entire face. No matter how beautiful she was, could she be better-looking than him?
Bars
a third wheel could never hang around like a glaring fluorescent light, nor could there be a meddlesome audience.
Luo Binghe is literally trying to force the third wheel out of his shizun’s sight line lmaoooooooo
There were also some incredible female cultivators, but on the whole, these girls’ strength and mental fortitude was lacking, and they often required help.
Booooooooo sexism boooooooo
Wonderful, a perfectly good wife is now gone, just like that! Shen Qingqiu thought, frustrated and disappointed. Now you can’t complete the Qin Sisters bouquet for that grand threesome scene in the future. Now what?!
Stop. Do not pass go. The girl you’re supposed to pick the flower for, Qin Wanyue, is right next to us, watching—and you want to deflower it in her presence, and for a big, strong man to boot? Leave your wife some dignity, all right?!
I can’t tell you that the only way to completely cure the poison is to take a trip to pound town with you, okay?!
In truth, this person’s appearance could have been considered proper and handsome, it was just that in his every word and action there was an inescapable air of sleaziness.
OUCH
This scene could have been described as beautiful.
“I don’t want to kill you.” Unable to look at his expression, Shen Qingqiu’s gaze went right through him. Luo Binghe searched his memory, but he’d never seen Shen Qingqiu so cold and emotionless, not toward him. Even back when he’d just entered Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, when Shizun had disliked him, his eyes had never been this empty—like he was looking at nothing.
poetic cinema. FUCK
Better that than this moment being carved into Shen Qingqiu’s memory from here on out, forcing him to remember night and day that he had shoved Luo Binghe down with his own two hands. But Luo Binghe refused to give up hope. He refused to believe that the teacher who had been so kind to him would actually hurt him. He refused to believe that all those years of companionship every day, morning to night, could lead to this conclusion. Even as Xiu Ya stabbed into his chest, he clung to a last strand of hope. Shen Qingqiu hadn’t meant to stab him.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
THE MOMENT Shang Qinghua had seen Mobei-Jun suddenly appear, he had accidentally let out a “WTF!”
that's so fucking funny i love these online boys
“Digging plot holes and not filling them!” Shen Qingqiu finally burst out. “Foreshadowing gone to waste! Landmines all over the place! The writing style of an elementary schooler! If you’re going to write a stallion novel, then write a proper stallion novel—don’t fool around writing whump!”
this whole scene
Shang Qinghua was still panicked. “Just now I saw a woman on the ground, slithering by like a snake! If I hadn’t stopped the carriage, I would’ve run her right over! This did sound rather eerie.
my nephew! fucking terrifying
Then Shen Qingqiu realized that, when something had collided with his calf a second before, it hadn’t felt like a kick from a foot. Rather, it had been more like…a headbutt. Shen Qingqiu jerked his head down, and his gaze met that of a deathly pale and bloated face on the ground.
I'd die immediately
“Young hero, quick! Let’s switch places!” He worked in logistics—how could he be the front line of an assault?!
