This Time It's Real

by Ann Liang

like how I’d traced the lines of this pretend boyfriend’s palm, whispered secrets to him in the dark, told him he meant the world to me, that he felt like home.

Hint hint, clue clue??

your life-almost-every-year!

Missing the -

There is this certain elegance to the cut of his jaw, the slight pout of his lips, the sharp, lean angles of his frame. His dark hair and darker eyes. It’s not like his features are inhumanly perfect or anything, but together, they just work.

Hmmmm ;)

She has her laptop out, and nothing else. This is actually standard for students here, I’ve learned the hard way. At my old school, we were only allowed paper notes, so I didn’t realize I would even need to bring a laptop until my first class at Westbridge, when everyone was working on a Google Doc and all I had was a notebook and pencil.

I'm sorry, but they're taking notes on a LAPTOP?!?! There are studies that have proven that notes are retained WAAAAAYYYY better if handwritten.

He pauses. Stares at me. “Oh, look,” he says finally, his mouth curving into something too muted to qualify as a smile. “It’s my nonfan.”

I guess my point is that I do believe in love. Really. I’m just not convinced that kind of love could ever happen to me.

“I’m kidding, by the way,” he says evenly. “You’re still way hotter than my manager.”

“That’s so adorable. I’m, like, such a fan of your relationship.”

Um what?? That is soooo weird

“It’s the smile,” he says, eyes flickering to me. “You two have the same smile.”

“Well, I mean, first of all—cockroaches are disgusting, and they have no right to make those crunching sounds when they die.

Hahahaha, yes! Preach ;)

Somehow, even though I’ve followed every single instruction written on this random mother’s baking blog—which I find only after a three-paragraph-long introduction about her son being a picky eater—

Real, and it's even worse when the "Jump to Recipe" button doesn't work :/

I need to get rid of this dumb crush—and fast.

Uh huh... Suuuuure

But I feel nothing, not until I get to school and catch sight of Caz laughing with his friends, where my pulse promptly skyrockets and my stomach somersaults ten times over.

Hehehehehehehehehe >:)

And this, I think, is my ultimate fatal flaw. Missing people who don’t miss me back. Clinging on to strands of string that shouldn’t mean half as much as they do. It takes so little for me to love someone, yet so long for me to move on.

Then, instead of lingering like I want to, I take Emily back home, realizing as I do that it’s getting harder and harder to turn my back on Caz Song.

Uggggh, I want a Caz POV rn so I can know what he's thinking at this moment <3

is that ok?? I text Caz

Um, what?! She's a flipping writer and she doesn't capitalize her texts?? Even I do that!!

“And you probably didn’t mean to fall for him. At all. You probably had a plan, precautions in place. Maybe you were at peace with your loneliness, but then he sort of barged into your life, uninvited, and you’ve been reeling ever since, angry at yourself. At him. Now all you can do is sit around and think, like a fool, about the pale, moonlit curve of his neck and measure out potential losses and the weight of his words and prepare remedies in advance for what you’re certain will be the most devastating sort of heartbreak. But you continue to like him anyway. Stubbornly. Deliberately. And you …”

Sooooo, her, haha

What could possibly go wrong?

Foreshadowing??

or how he tries to sneak all the vegetable dishes to the opposite end of the table, as far away from him as possible.

Me too, Caz, me too.

When you care about someone, you want to be inconvenienced—you wouldn’t mind being inconvenienced by them every day for the rest of your life. That’s what love is. That’s all love really is.”

He only seems to relax when I scoot forward, bring my hand lower down to his arm, and tell him what I’ve wanted someone to say to me for as long as I can remember. What I’m still waiting for someone to say. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

“That thing about … being there for me. I want to be that for you too.”

I find myself missing Zoe.

Ummm what?? I'm like 99.89% sure she's the one who blew it so you cannot be saying anything

only to find that it’s a sisheng fan, a stalker essentially,

Nvm, I was .11% wrong, though that would've been a great plot twist

“What—what do you care about, then?” “You,” he says quietly. “I want you, Eliza.”

Awwwwww <3

“Well, either way,” Emily continues, leaning back against the wall, “the main reason I liked him was because of how you act when you’re together.” This surprises me. “What … what am I like around him?” “Happy,” she says simply.

Omgosh, she's such a cute and amazing sister. You go, girl!!

“Caz, I’d love to be inconvenienced by you. I wouldn’t mind being inconvenienced by you for the rest of my life.”

<3 <3 <3 <3