Designing Your New Work Life: How to Thrive and Change and Find Happiness--and a New Freedom--at Work

by Bill Burnett

Gallup indicates that approximately 69 percent of American workers are disengaged from their work (a percentage that includes the plain “disengaged” and the angry and resentful “actively disengaged”). Globally, the number of workers unhappy at the place where they spend most of their lives is an astonishing 85 percent.

When designing your work life, you need to know that designers don’t think their way forward. Work designers build their way forward.

The mind-sets are: curiosity, bias to action, reframing, awareness, radical collaboration, and—the bonus—storytelling.

Curiosity is your natural human state, and it is the source of the energy you need to get started and get out and meet people who are interesting. Curiosity is the most important mind-set of a designer, because it drives inquiry and action and is the start of almost all design activities. Leave your rational skeptic at home (she’ll come in handy later when you need to evaluate all of your wonderful options) and get curious. It is a very interesting world out there! And when you’re sincerely interested in people and things (i.e., curious), people are happy to engage with you. Remember—interested is interesting.

Try stuff. This is the bias to action step, where your curiosity and questions turn into action in the world. We showed you how you can prototype conversations and experiences in Designing Your Life; in this book we will show you a lot more ways to sneak up on your future and discover what works for you, at work and at home. When you live into this mind-set there is always something to do, a person to talk to, or an experience to try. In this book we will show you how to experiment with all sorts of “Try Stuff” strategies. Designers build their way forward and discover what’s right for them, in their jobs and in their lives, with a bias to action.

We will show you how to reframe these dysfunctional beliefs and make them into actionable challenges. You’ll want to get good at reframing—it is the essential mind-set that helps you get good at solving problems. There’s an old expression, “A problem well defined is half solved,” and reframing will make sure that you define the right problems to work on.

Know it’s a process. In design thinking, you are sometimes out generating lots and lots of ideas. We call this “phase ideation,” and it’s when you flare out, looking for all the good, bad, and crazy ideas you can find. At other times, you are focusing in on a point of view or a prototype you want to try. In this phase, you are focusing in on a good question or a very specific idea you’d like to test. These two parts of the design thinking process, flare and focus, are fundamentally different, and that’s why good designers learn to be mindful of their process. You need to know when it’s time to flare and when it’s time to focus. You need to know when to ask more questions and when to accept the data you’ve generated and commit to a path forward.

Ask for help. If we want to figure out how to transform our experience of work, we can’t sit at home and ruminate; we need to interact with the world of work and workers. We need to ask for help. We call this asking-for-help step “radical collaboration,” and when coupled with a bias to action, it results in rapid learning, an abundance of prototype opportunities, and some life-changing experiences. Getting out in the world and talking to lots of different people who are doing interesting things that you are curious about is crucial. This is your design research. And when you radically collaborate, you also discover that you are not alone, that many people are asking the same questions and have the same concerns. When the subject is work, we want to double down on the idea that design is a collaborative process and many of your best ideas are going to come from other people. You just need to ask for help. When you reach out to the world, it’s been our experience that the world reaches back. And that changes everything.

Tell your story. Here’s the bonus mind-set—storytelling. When you adopt the tell your story mind-set, you are always looking for opportunities to reflect on your conversations and experiences, and looking for new ways to engage the world with your story. Everyone loves a good story, and if you’re curious, have a bias to action, and build a lot of prototypes, you’ll have lots of stories to tell. Becoming a great storyteller is something you can learn, and once learned, storytelling will become one of the primary ways you engage with others and move your job and life design forward. And once you start speaking up, a funny thing happens—the world will start talking back and telling its story, in the form of new friendships, job opportunities, and creative ways to achieve your goals.

When you combine genuine curiosity with telling your story well, you’ve got a powerful combination working for you. But before the world can respond, you have to speak first and tell your story. We’ll show you how.

Storytelling is a natural element of human evolution. It’s how we make meaning of our experience and our lives. It’s how we connect with one another. Lisa Bortolotti, professor of philosophy at the University of Birmingham, England, even suggests that telling stories increases sexual attractiveness and improves our chances to reproduce. Dr. Paul J. Zak, director of the Center for Neuroeconomics Studies at Claremont Graduate University, has research that shows “that highly immersive stories can change attitudes, opinions, and behaviors.”

Dysfunctional Belief: Good enough isn’t good enough, I want more. Reframe: Good enough is GREAT—for now.

We think once we have a better job, or more money, or that promotion, we will have finally arrived at the place where things are new and different and magically better. And how many of us make ourselves deeply unhappy thinking this way? The truth is, when we live our lives waiting to get somewhere, the only place we get is stuck.

We have something important to say to you: Wherever you are in your work life, whatever job you are doing, it’s good enough. For now. Not forever. For now. Isn’t that a relief? Good enough for now is one of the big reframes of this book. Cultivating this attitude doesn’t mean life or work can’t get better, or that things never change, or that you stop learning and growing. On the contrary, changing our internal narrative to “good enough for now” makes it possible for everything in our external situation to transform.

This idea of always needing or wanting “more” can make us profoundly unhappy, and a little crazy, too. When we’re always chasing after the better job, or car, or house, or city, we never stop running. Ever. And this problem is not limited to just “stuff.” You can get caught endlessly chasing more peace, more mindfulness, or more magnanimity just as easily as more money.

For our purposes, the hedonic treadmill describes a process of being addicted to new experiences and the acquisition of new things. And, like all addictions, each new “high” comes with a big jolt of happy brain chemicals that quickly die off, creating the need for the next “fix.” And each time, the high is a little less high, making the pleasure-seeker run faster on the pleasure treadmill, compulsively looking for bigger and better highs.

The real question isn’t: How much money, time, power, impact, meaning, status, retirement savings, [fill in the blank with your favorite thing to want more of] do you have? The real question is: How’s it going, right now? A non–life designer, wallowing in the it’s-not-good-enough end of the pool, vaguely malcontent with all they have, answers by saying, over and over again, “Not so good. Are we there yet?” If asked the same question, a life designer would say, “Life is good. Of course, I’m working on my gratitude and managing my Health/Work/Play/Love dashboard, and I’m always trying to make a more meaningful contribution at work, but I can honestly say that things are good and I’m pretty content with what I have. I have what I need, and that is good enough for now.”

And if you find yourself wandering around your local mall, wanting something but finding nothing worth owning, bored to death, and wondering how you got there and what it all means—that’s a warning sign. Turn off your computer, silence your smartphone. Run, do not walk, to the nearest beach, forest, or beautiful sunset and stop, take a break, and look around. And to increase your sense of meaning, bring a friend, family member, or other loved one with you. It is a good idea, every so often, to remind ourselves that this is what is real, this is what life is actually all about.

For the last two decades, positive psychology research from the likes of Martin Seligman, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Daniel Goleman, and others has proven that happiness does not come from having “more.” Studies of lottery winners show that within a year or so these lucky, richer folks are not any happier than they were before winning. Studies have also shown that people who are happy are enjoying what they get, not wasting their time worrying about getting something they don’t need. Research has made it abundantly clear that one of the secrets to a happy life is to learn how to enjoy what you have.

What makes life meaningful and what maximizes your happiness and longevity are relationships—who you love and who loves you. And there is a strong correlation between doing something for the benefit of others and living a longer, healthier life.

George Vaillant, the last Harvard psychologist in charge of the Grant Study, summarized the entire research with these sentences: “Happiness is love. Full stop.”

Ron Howard, the Stanford professor who is considered the father of decision analysis, says, “Never confuse the quality of a decision with the quality of the outcome—they are really two different things. The only thing you can control is the quality of your research and the quality of the resulting decision.”

So he took the first step designers always take—he accepted the situation and, by accepting his situation, he began the process of designing his work life.

Dysfunctional Belief: To have a good work life I need to “go for it” and really shoot for the moon! Reframe: The secret to “good enough for now” is to have a bias to action, but set the bar low, clear it, then do it again, and again.

The basic principle is the same as the Good Time Journal: You observe and record your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors while at work, and then record what you notice about your work and your job. We have a few different categories of “noticing” that are connected to the research about what makes work “good work,” and they are: What did I learn? What did I initiate? Who did I help? This process makes your observations about work explicit and tangible when you write them down. Then you see if anything pops out at you by asking the question What do I notice? This will break you out of your stereotypical response to the question How was your day? (Okay, I guess) and gives you a better sense of what is really going on.

Also be on the lookout for what we call an “unlearning.” That’s when, instead of adding to the things you know, you learned that something you thought was true wasn’t.

When you take it upon yourself to initiate an action, a change, or a new way of doing something, you satisfy what psychologists call an “innate need,” and these needs are uniquely human. And when you are getting your innate needs met you feel like you have more control of your world. The best part—you don’t need your boss’s approval to initiate something. Pick something small, something that you can complete on your own, and you will garner the psychic rewards of being a creator. Some examples: organize everyone signing a birthday card for a fellow employee, clean up the break room after your shift (leave your campsite better than you found it), or build a better spreadsheet with color coding of the most important cells. Set the goal to initiate something new at work at least once a week.

The science is clear on the value of helping others. In the Harvard Grant Study that we mentioned earlier, doing something in the service of others had a very strong correlation to long life and happiness. And just like our intrinsic need for initiation, humans have an intrinsic motivation toward what psychologists call “relatedness.” We call it being helpful.

When you start noticing that you are learning new things, initiating useful changes around the office, and helping others enjoy their work, you’ll probably notice that your satisfaction with work is increasing. Better yet, you don’t need anyone’s permission to start doing these things—the change that you are trying to make is entirely in your own hands.

You’ve probably heard of “practicing the Sabbath,” which is part of the Jewish tradition of resting from work for one day a week in order to more fully appreciate life. Most faith and wisdom traditions suggest some variation on this weekly practice of stepping back and reflecting on things. It helps us get the most out of our experience. Those traditions contributed to how we ended up with the modern “weekend” of Saturday and Sunday (although now many of us have turned the weekend into another crazy set of obligations). We recommend that you take five to ten minutes—that’s all—once a week on a non-workday, a Saturday or Sunday for most of us, and use that time for what we call our “7th Day Reflection” exercise.

There are two types of life design reflections: 1.Savoring 2.Insight

By savoring we simply mean returning to an experience or thought and reentering and re-remembering it.

a savoring reflection is about focusing on something worthwhile and giving it your honest, undistracted attention. This is the essence of getting more out of (rather than cramming more into) your life.

The original hug and kiss were good—but the savored memory in reflection was awesome! And…that brought an insight reflection as well. With all the worldwide trips that have come with being an author—which are pretty big and exciting—he’d lost track of the little things. His wife was almost as excited about those flowers as she was about going to Prague on a book trip with Dave. The insight was simple but profound: The emotional value of things is not proportional to their size. Simply put—never forget the little things!

Don’t forget that reflection is a practice.

Start with a bias to action—just do something. Then adopt the “good enough for now” point of view.

Micro-Goal Exercise 1. Pick a bad habit you’d like to change, or a new habit or behavior you’d like to make part of your daily routine (exercise more, start a mindfulness practice, have a kitchen that is always clean, etc.). 2. Set some big goals. Write down a clear and measurable description of your eventual goals. (For example: I regularly get three hours of aerobic exercise a week; I meditate thirty minutes every other day, regularly; there are never dishes in the sink and the kitchen is always clean and ready to go for the morning, before I go to bed.) 3. Make the big goals part of your “story.” Write a couple of sentences about what you’d get, what the emotional benefit to you would be, if you were to make this new behavior part of your regular routine. (For example: I’d get better health and sleep and feel good about how I look; I’d get a calm and centered approach to life and manage my anger better; I’d get an inviting place to cook and make nutritious meals for my family every day.) 4. Sneak up on the change you want to make with “micro-goals.” Plan the first eight weeks (it takes about eight weeks to establish a new normal) of micro-goals, designed to get you partway (maybe 20 percent?) toward your big goal. Make the micro-goals each week easy, something you think you’re sure you can do. And make sure that whatever goals you set, you can measure the results. 5. Make sure you reward yourself, at regular intervals, for accomplishing your micro-goals. 6. Do not rewar...

Good Work Journal 1. Complete a log of your daily activities, using the worksheet provided (or in your own notebook). Note when you are “Learning,” “Initiating,” and “Helping.” Try to do this daily, or at least every few days, and no less than once a week. 2. Continue this daily logging for three to four weeks. 3. At the end of each week, jot down your observations. Then ask yourself, What do I notice? 4. Are there any surprises in your observations? 5. Do you find that you have more entries in one of the three categories: learning, initiating, helping? If so, what do you think that means? 6. If you find that entries in one of the three categories are often missing, make a plan to boost your learning, initiating, or helping in the next week. 7. Observe how that intervention made you feel—make a note of that in your journal.

7th Day Reflection Exercise Here’s a simple four-step exercise you can do weekly. We recommend making it a regular practice to get the most out of it. 1. Retreat Find a quiet spot where you can sit comfortably for five to ten minutes, either at a table or with a surface you can write on (preferably by hand, but typing is okay if you prefer). Close your eyes and just breathe for a moment. Take at least three or four full, calming breaths to slow yourself down and be glad that you’re alive and have this quiet moment to yourself. 2. Review Now, while still keeping your eyes closed, let the last seven days flow before your mind’s eye. As you do so, look for two to four moments in your week that you are attracted to and grateful for in retrospect. Note: Beware of being “attracted” to problems, conflicts, forgotten to-do items, etc. The mind loves to get caught up in that stuff. When that stuff appears (and it will), just tell yourself, I’ll get to that another time, and let it go. Don’t fight it or attempt to resolve it—both of which will steal all your attention. Just acknowledge it, then let it go and return to your reflection. Yes…this takes some practice to get the hang of. As you review your week, being attentive to those two to four moments, very briefly jot down just one or two words for each such moment that stands out, so you won’t lose it. “Cheerful grocer” or “finished essay” or “appeased boss.” 3. Reflect When you’ve got your list, look it over. Fully savor each of ...

We really don’t like false dichotomies, where one thing is pitted against another and it’s a zero-sum game.

A Workview is a manifesto—it’s the set of values you use to define what you think good work is and is not. It is an articulated philosophy of what work means to you. A Workview may address such questions as: Why work? What’s work for? What does work mean? How does it relate to the individual, others, society? What defines good or worthwhile work? What does money have to do with it? What does experience, growth, and fulfillment have to do with it? A Lifeview sounds big and daunting, but it is simply your own particular ideas about what gives life meaning and what makes life worthwhile. It probably involves others in your family and your community. It may have a spiritual component to it. A Lifeview is what helps us define what matters most. It might address these questions: Why are we here? What is the meaning/purpose of life? What is the relationship between the individual and others? Where do family, country, and the rest of the world fit in? What is good? What is evil? Is there a higher power, God, or something transcendent, and if so, how does this impact my life?

Coherence is the goal of this exercise.

Living the coherent life doesn’t mean everything lines up perfectly every perfect day of your perfect life. It just means that you are doing your best to live in alignment with your World- and Lifeviews, whatever those may be. If we can see a clear connection between who we are, what we believe, and what we are doing for a living—then we know we are on course. Our compass is working.

Workview Reflection Write a short reflection about your Workview. We’re not looking for a term paper here (and we’re not grading you), but we do want you to really write this down. Don’t do it in your head. This should take about thirty minutes, and try to shoot for 250 words—less than a page of writing. Lifeview Reflection Just as you did with the Workview, please write a reflection on your Lifeview. This should also take no more than thirty minutes, and should be 250 words or so.

It turned out that Dave actually had attention deficit disorder, which meant he was easily distracted and easily interested. His work was full of interesting things to do, especially in a rapidly growing new technology company in rapidly growing Silicon Valley, so Dave was in a dangerous place.

So he tried a new boss, a different role, and even a new industry, thinking that would fix his “overwork” problem—he tried it all. But everywhere Dave went, there he was. And he worked as hard and as long because he was as interested in every new shiny conversation that passed in front of him. He couldn’t control himself.

And then something else started happening. A few former employers and friends at other companies began calling Dave to see if he could spare a few hours or a day or two to consult with them on small projects. He said no to some, depending on what his mom and his family needed, and yes to others. Unlike his day job, where he just couldn’t say no to a project, the framework of consulting gave Dave a sense of freedom he didn’t have as a corporate guy. He had thought briefly about being an independent consultant before, but it seemed a little scary and he wasn’t sure he could support the family doing it. But now, having accidentally “prototyped” this new lifestyle (Dave didn’t call it prototyping in those days, but that is exactly what he’d been doing), it didn’t seem so scary. After his mom died and it was time to go back to work, he never went back. He became a full-time consultant. And while he gave up some money and a fancy title, he was able to buy back time—time to coach his sons’ baseball teams, go on vacations with the family, and teach Sunday School. What Dave learned was that he was good at working hard, and he liked to do a lot of work, but working inside a corporation was a bad fit for him. Dave was best suited for the gig economy before there even was a gig economy.

One warning: In the modern workplace people aspire to having their income-producing work also be their meaning-producing work. You’re making the impact in the world you most care about and you are getting paid to do it. For many people, and especially when we talk to the Millennials and Gen Z-ers, this is clearly their model for the perfect job or the tailor-made gig. This is the unicorn. Seriously. These people seem to think that you ought to be able to find your passion and get paid to do it. Every day. All day. For lots of money. Most of the time, however, it’s just not possible. Most people, even if they find their passion, can’t make a living at it.

We are really, really sorry that this is the way the world works—but part of coherency is dealing with reality. So it is time for another Accept. It’s time to blow up this somewhat romantic idea about work and remember that this hasn’t always been what people expected. For most of the nineteenth and twentieth centuries, people aspired to a simpler idea, where you make money one place and have a life in another. This is and has always been a valid way to live, and we suspect that it’s the way most people live today. They just don’t admit it—and that’s part of what makes them unhappy.

What DO you make? Here’s our reframe—making is great. Designers love being makers, and we think everyone should be a maker, too. Now, what you make is the question, and it’s not just about how much. As Einstein said, “Not everything that can be measured counts, and not everything that counts can be measured.” We couldn’t agree more, especially when it comes to “counting” money and meaning. We invite you to think differently about your making, which means being clear about what you measure.