I thought about going inside before Matt woke up and taking a shower to think about Ben. Masturbating in the shower wasn’t my preferred method and it always took longer that way (an inconvenience more than a titillation) but ever since marrying Matt, it became a survival mechanism. I had once made the mistake of getting off in bed when I’d thought I was alone and he’d walked in unexpectedly. It was hard to defend. That was the problem; my arousal wasn’t mine anymore because Matt didn’t view my arousal as anything other than invitation.
