When We Were Bright and Beautiful

by Jillian Medoff

Like most kids, I believed my family was the center of the universe, and I felt proud to be included.

I’ve only lived in a few places. However, I am well-traveled, and have come to recognize that a house’s personality reflects the best and worst traits of its owners.

You can’t choose who you love, but you can choose how you behave. I behaved atrociously.

Ever since he handled the estates of Eleanor’s parents, the Bowtie has slithered as close as he can, while forgetting the first rule of friendship among the monied class: hold your lane.

One great lie of modern life is that parenthood is vital and transformative.

So, you see, the world of the wealthy isn’t just small and incestuous; we also have our own economy with our own currency.

for now, I carry my brother the way I carry my other secrets: one self facing the world, the other shrouded in darkness.

I realized that Nate must’ve felt an awful lot of hurt and anger as a child. The same hurt and anger I feel now. Which is the funny thing about families, no matter how much cake you have, someone will always feel starved.

My takeaway was that men, boys, are always on the hunt; whether conscious of it (feral) or not (submissive). Their brains are more developed than other warm-blooded vertebrates, but they’re mammals fueled by testosterone, which primes instincts like dominance and self-affirmation. Sexual satisfaction is hardwired, and they’ll achieve it by aggression, deception, or both. Women who don’t see the world through the lens of men’s needs are naïve or willfully blind.

The other point he didn’t make, though I know he thought it: Anton Rivera is a doorman. Joey Rivera is his son. Neither of them is a person worth considering, if a person at all.

You’re not a child anymore, Cassie. That girl is gone. You can’t punish me for not giving you what you want. Those days are over.”

For a partnership to endure, he once told me, one person has to be the peacemaker. Someone has to take it on the chin.