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“It’s a novelty to feel appreciated.”
I’m the one who can never walk away from a bad hand.”
“That makes you a rotten gambler, Jesper. But an excellent friend.”
It took two days after she emerged from the surgeon’s cabin for Kaz to make himself approach Inej.
“You know I can do it, Kaz, and you know I’m not going to refuse. So why ask?” Because I’ve been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.
“Never something for nothing, Kaz,”
“I’ll pray for him,” Inej said. “For peace in the next world if not in this one.”
They’re all survivors, Matthias understood. They adapt.
There’s always more to lose.”
“I will always be a threat to you, Matthias.”
In a way, telling Kaz had been a comfort. There could be no judgment from a boy known as Dirtyhands.
“Good
luck hitting a skinny little schooner cutting through the waves bound for fortune and glory.” “I’ll quote you on that when a cannonball lands in my lap,” said Nina.
“To be here but not really be home.”
“She’s best when she’s Nina.”
“And who is that?”
“I suspect you know better than...
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“Nina is everything you say. It’s too much.”
“Maybe you’re just not enough.”
Vengeance was waiting, vengeance for Jordie and maybe for himself, too. But he would have to go to meet it.
He’d imagined his death a thousand ways, but never sleeping through it.
He hated that Inej had seen him this way, that anyone had, but on the heels of that thought came another: Better it should be her.
Though he’d trusted her with his life countless times, it felt much more frightening to trust her with this shame.
Kaz glimpsed Inej disappearing into the opposite arch with the other female prisoners. He felt a twinge in his chest, and with a disturbing jolt, he realized it was panic. She’d been the one to wake him from his stupor in the cart. Her voice had brought him back from the dark; it had been the tether he gripped and used to drag himself back to some semblance of sanity.
Doesn’t matter how big the gun is if you don’t know where to point it.
“Of course. But you’re obviously dangerous,” he said. “I’d prefer you never became dangerous to me.”
Better terrible truths than kind lies.
In the end, Kaz Brekker was just a boy, and she’d let him lead her to this fate.
How long have you been holding on to nothing?
She was not a lynx or a spider or even the Wraith. She was Inej Ghafa, and her future was waiting above.
A gambler, a convict, a wayward son, a lost Grisha, a Suli girl who had become a killer, a boy from the Barrel who had become something worse.
What bound them together? Greed? Desperation? Was it just the knowledge that if one or all of them disappeared tonight, no one would come looking?
She had her aim now, her heart had direction, and though it hurt to know that path led away from him, she could endure it.
“I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue.”
“The life you live, the hate you feel—it’s poison. I can drink it no longer.”
But he felt like he’d left some part of himself in the courtyard below, something he hadn’t even known mattered, intangible as mist.
I have been made to protect you. Only in death
will I be kept from this oath. It was the vow of the drüskelle to Fjerda. And now it was Matthias’ promise to her.
He’d looked up from his desk to answer, but whatever he’d been about to say had vanished on his tongue. The sun was out for once, and Inej had turned her face to it. Her eyes were shut, her oil-black lashes fanned over her cheeks. The harbor wind had lifted her dark hair, and for a moment Kaz was a boy again, sure that there was magic in this world.
She’d laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and gotten drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.
He needed to tell her … what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn’t pull himself together into some semblance
of a man for her. That without meaning to, he’d begun to lean on her, to look for her, to need her near.