Between Shades of Gray

by Ruta Sepetys

You stand for what is right, Lina, without the expectation of gratitude or reward.

It was the last time I would look into a real mirror for more than a decade.

I pictured a rug being lifted and a huge Soviet broom sweeping us under it.

Have you ever wondered what a human life is worth? That morning, my brother’s was worth a pocket watch.

I planted a seed of hatred in my heart. I swore it would grow to be a massive tree whose roots would strangle them all.

Or a sadness so deep, like your very core has been hollowed out and fed back to you from a dirty bucket?

I felt as if I were riding a pendulum. Just as I would swing into the abyss of hopelessness, the pendulum would swing back with some small goodness.

Was it harder to die, or harder to be the one who survived? I was sixteen, an orphan in Siberia, but I knew. It was the one thing I never questioned. I wanted to live.

it. A tiny sliver of gold appeared between shades of gray on the horizon. I stared at the amber band of sunlight, smiling. The sun had returned.