Change on the Fly (Totally Pucked, #1)

by Maren Moore

That’s the last thing I should be thinking about, yet here we are. I’ve watched her grow from a boy-band crazed teenager into… this beautiful woman. A woman who is so off-limits, it’s not even funny.

And that’s how the rest of the night is spent, talking about nothing with Holland, eating a Pop-Tart, and for the very first time, I realize that I might be in some seriously deep shit.

I have a feeling that this phone call just changed the rest of my life. Fuck.

Being a parent means you and you alone are responsible for whether or not your child becomes a decent human being, and if that isn’t the most overwhelming pressure in the fucking world, I don’t know what is.

I love books. Like, I really love them.

My dream has taken longer than planned, but as my mother used to say... ‘it's a journey, not a race.’

Because I have a secret, one that no one knows. Especially not Emery. Because this secret? It would change everything. The secret I’ve been holding in for so long is that I, Holland Parker, am ridiculously in love with Reed Davidson and I have been since I was nine years old, watching him save a kitten from a tree. It was one of those moments where I had hearts in my eyes, and after that, it seemed like whenever Reed was around, I couldn’t stop the growing feeling deep in my stomach. Suddenly, he was no longer the boy next door or my best friend’s older brother, but the boy who made my heart race a little faster when he was near.

Not me. I’m pretty sure I didn’t sleep a wink the entire night. Instead, I watched him sleep to make sure he was… you know, breathing. Fuck, I didn’t know. I was new at this and scared I was going to screw it all up.

That we can’t. I tuck a loose piece of hair behind my ear and look away, the intensity of his stare burning directly to my core. "Fuck, you're beautiful." My heart begins to race in my chest, unsure of what's happening, but too selfish to stop it. His words cause me to shiver, a delicious fire that seems to start in my stomach and burn all the way to the sensitive spot between my thighs.

"Please, Holland. This is me, Reed Davidson, the hottest hockey star you'll ever meet, begging you. I need you.

It is gorgeous at night, especially downtown, but the beauty that I'm looking at has nothing to do with the city.

"Weed?" Evan asks, breaking my trance. He pronounces his r's like w's, so he's taken to calling me, weed. Honestly, I don't even give a shit. At least he's opening up to me.

“You are brave, buddy. It’s okay to be afraid sometimes because you have me, and together, we can be brave. We can face anything.”

“I wuv you, Weed.” Jesus, someone’s cutting onions again. My heart constricts in my chest with something I never thought I’d ever experience. I lift my arms and wrap them around his tiny body, and we stay like that. Embracing. Me fighting back misty eyes, and Holland gazing at us with tears in hers. “I love you too, buddy.”

I kiss her like I'm dying of thirst, and fuck, I want to drown in her.

“Don’t. Don’t hide yourself from me. I want you, Holland, every single fucking inch of you.”

“You think I don't know that? You think I don’t know that I have no right to be jealous? No right to feel so fucking possessive over you like you’re mine.”

“I will throw your ass over my shoulder and carry you all the way back to my house, don’t bite off more than you can chew, babe.”

Beautiful, Just a little something to show you I was thinking of you. Miss you. Do me a favor and send me a picture of you wearing nothing but this. ;) Reed

Just as I’m drifting off, I swear he whispers, “If only a good enough man for you, Holland Parker.”

“I’m fucking terrified, man. Love? Love is the scariest thing in the damn world. It makes you vulnerable.” “You’re right. That’s what love does. It splits you open, leaves you raw. It's scary giving someone else the ability to hurt you.

“That falling in love is the greatest feeling in the world, and they’re not wrong. But it’s also scary. That’s the part that no one tells you about. The vulnerable, raw part of you that you’re putting in another person’s hands and praying that they love you for who you are. I love you, Holland. I am in love with you.”

“One: Fall in love every day. Never stop showing you how much you mean to me, and giving you reasons to fall in love with me.”

“Two: Shout it to the world. I’m never going to not show my love for you. I want everyone in the goddamn world to know that I’m the bastard that’s lucky enough to love you, Holland Parker. I’ll put it on the jumbotron. On every damn billboard in Chicago.”

My girl and her cold hands and feet. She's constantly putting them on me to steal some of my body heat.

“Change on the fly. You don’t stop, you change what you have to and finish out the game.”

That’s the thing about love. It’s messy. It’s not always easy. It’s not always perfect. It has to be willing to change, to reshape, to grow.