Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole

by Susan Cain

What are you longing for? You may not have asked yourself this question before. You may not have identified the important symbols in your life story, you may not have examined what they mean. You’ve likely asked other questions: What are my career goals? Do I want marriage and children? Is so-and-so the right partner? How can I be a “good” and moral person? What work should I do? To what extent should my work define me? When should I retire? But have you asked yourself these questions in the deepest terms? Have you asked what is the thing you long for most, your unique imprint, singular mission, wordless calling? Have you asked where on earth is your closest approximation of home? Literally, if you sat down and wrote “Home” at the top of a piece of paper and waited a while, what would you write next? And if you have a bittersweet temperament, or you’ve come to it via life experience, have you asked how to hold the melancholy within you? Have you realized that you’re part of a long and storied tradition that can help you transform your pain into beauty, your longing into belonging?