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“You have it bad, then.” She pressed her lips together, blinking rapidly to push back the tears. “Maybe I do. I don’t know—I’ve never had it before. I’ve never wanted to have it.”
oh :(
“I don’t see why not.” “Because all the people I’ve cared about are gone,” she snapped.
Holden was Adam’s Anh.
“Yep. I’m so glad he finally scrounged up the courage to ask you out. He’d been going on and on about this ‘amazing girl’ for years, but he was concerned about being in the same department, and you know how he is . . .” He shrugged and waved his hand. “I’m glad he finally managed to pull his head out of his ass.”
“Watch your back while you’re around him, okay?” “My back?” What? Why? Did this have anything to do with what Adam had mentioned—Holden not liking Tom? “What do you mean?” “Adam’s back, too. Especially Adam’s back.”
im scared
“ ‘Carry yourself with the confidence of a mediocre white man.’ ”
LMAOOOO
“It doesn’t matter what it says. It’s always one bed.”
What happened? Where did you just go?
Olive had felt that he was on her side. Over and over, and in ways that she could never have anticipated, he had made her feel unjudged. Less alone.
Enough, she repeated to herself. What you have now, it will have to be enough.
oh honey trust its never enough.
“You’re . . .” He swallowed and shifted on his feet. “Here.”
oh he is GONE
“That’s not what I . . .” Adam closed his eyes and shook his head, as if collecting himself.
say it coward.
“It was acid green.” “I know. It made me happy.” “It made me nauseous.”
It wasn’t until a few minutes later, when she was sitting on her bed staring at the Boston skyline and chewing on her lunch, that Olive realized that the protein bar Adam had given her was covered in chocolate.
AHHHHHHHHH
“I think there are a lot of things we can gain from each other. Wouldn’t you agree?”
i dony wike it….
I can see why Adam’s wasting his time with you.”
NAHHHHHH BACK UP MOTHERFUCKER
His smile was lopsided. “That I want to spend time with my girlfriend?”
ph my gods i will cry
THE PROBLEM, HE explained in hushed tones as they waited to be seated, was not the sushi train, but the all-you-can-eat for twenty dollars.
THATS FIRE WHAT YIU MEAN. I LOVE CONVEYOR BELT SUSHI
“—or the best movie in the Fast and Furious franchise—” “Fast Five. Though I have a feeling you’re going to say—” “Tokyo Drift
Her heart skipped what felt like a dozen beats when Adam swept her up into a full bridal carry.
PAISE.
“A T-shirt. I slept in it yesterday, but it’s probably better than the dress you’re wearing. To sleep in, I mean,” he added, a faint flush on his cheeks.
YALL IM LOSING IT.
“You are not mediocre, Olive. You were not invited to speak because people think that you are my girlfriend—there is no such thing, since SBD’s abstracts go through a blind review process. I would know, because I’ve been roped into reviewing them in the past. And the work you presented is important, rigorous, and brilliant.” He took a deep breath. His shoulders rose and fell in time with the thudding of her heart. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”
oh my gods. this. wow.
“You have no fucking idea what I want.”
HELP A\I HAD TO SIT UP AND TAKE A BREATHER.
Chapter Sixteen
activi— Oh. Oh.
HAHAHAAH
He kisses, Olive thought, like a man starved
“Pay attention, sweetheart.”
WELL GOSH DARN DALLY
“My favorite color must be green, after all.”
you cheeky fucker
I tried to just . . . to just do it, to get it over with, and the guy I did it with was nice, but the truth is that I just don’t feel any . . .”
oh i understand a little bit too well and im so glad im not crazy cause i thought i was crazy.
She couldn’t ramble anymore, because he was kissing her again, this time hard and bruising, as though he wanted to absorb her into himself. “I want to do this,” she said, as soon as she was able to. “With you. I really do.”
Then he lifted his head, eyes foggy, as if aware that he should be listening to her.
i love it when a man is whipped.
“I want to go down on you until you pass out.”
holy fuck when is it my turn. ALSO WHAT WHO IS THIS MAN.
“Can I fuck you?”
“Please?”
AGGHHHHHHHH
(08/23/25) still oh my fucking gods.
“You’re so big.” He groaned into her neck. His entire body was vibrating with tension. “You can take it.”
holy fuck
“You’re so perfect, you’re driving me insane.”
‘ik hou van jou.’ ”
This, she thought, this was going to be their perfect night. And their last.
Smiling at her. Not one of those half-baked things she’d gotten used to, but a real, true smile.
She inhaled deeply. “The truth is, we did great. And it’s time we call it quits.”
IM SO MAD JUST TELL HIM.
It was frightening. Frightening, how good this felt. How easy it would be to never stop. To let time stretch and unbend, forget about everything else, and simply stay in this moment forever.
Olive slammed the spacebar, immediately stopping the replay of the recording.
NO FCUKING WAY I FORGOT ABOUT THIS BEING REOCORDED
God, Ol, you’re such an idiot. But a very lovable idiot, and my idiot.”
“Make of that what you will, Olive.”
HYPOTHESIS: People who cross me will come to regret it.
YAS BITCH KNOW YOUR POWER
A lie, after a lot of lies. So many lies she’d told, so many true things she could have said but never did, all because she’d been too scared of the truth, of driving the people she loved away from her. All because she’d been afraid to lose them. All because she hadn’t wanted to be alone again.
“Leave,” Adam ordered, voice low and cold.
“Not you. Tom, leave us.” Oh. Oh. Well, then.
“It was him,” Adam whispered. His voice was low, barely a whisper, deceptively calm. His eyes, unreadable. “It was Tom. The reason you were crying.”
oh tom is about to get DESTROYED
“I’m going to kill you,” he gritted out, little more than a growl. “If you say another word about the woman I love, if you look at her, if you even think about her—I’m going to fucking kill you.”
YASSSSS BEAT HIS ASS
