I guess this confirms that I really was directing all my hatred at Gabi just because of the shitty situation between our parents, and it sends a spike of pain through my chest that almost makes me topple over. It’s guilt, but namely the “I’ve been called on my bullshit and can’t deny it any longer” kind that feels vaguely like a sharp stab between the ribs. God, I hate how much these things affect me, but it takes everything I have to shift my focus away from the twisting feeling in my gut over to what’s happening on the field.
