I was trying to manifest the person I wanted to be: a person who could enjoy her life, her home, a person who wasn’t about to die or disappear. The part of me that spent hours looking at home design sites and clothing on sale was the part of me that wanted to live and didn’t know how else to express it. The worse I felt, the less I could do what I wanted (work, think), the more I searched for beauty and for pleasure.
