Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy

by Eric Metaxas

Bonhoeffer felt comfortable19 sharing with Bethge what he called acedia or tristitia—a “sadness of the heart” that we might typically call depression. He suffered from it but rarely showed it, except among close friends. Gerhard Jacobi said, “In private conversation he made a less calm and harmonious impression. One noticed at once what a sensitive person he was, what a turmoil he was in, and how troubled.” And it’s doubtful20 that Bonhoeffer discussed it with anyone but Bethge. He knew that Bethge’s towering intellect and his mature and well-established faith were up to the task of dealing with him in his complexities, even in his doubts, such as they were. He knew that Bethge could function in the role of pastor to him, which he did, and not just at Finkenwalde, but thenceforth. He touched on his depression years later, in a letter to Bethge from Tegel prison: “I wonder why it is that we find some days so much more oppressive than others, for no apparent reason. Is it growing pains—or spiritual trial? Once they’re over, the world looks quite a different place again.” There was little question21 that Bonhoeffer was sometimes extremely intense, that his brilliant and overactive mind could lead him into temporary cul-de-sacs of agitation. But in Bethge, he had a friend to whom he could show this worst side. Bethge was as naturally sunny as Bonhoeffer could be intense. Bonhoeffer mentioned it in another letter from Tegel: “I don’t know anyone who does not like you, whereas I...