Oh. What. Fun.

by Chandler Baker

But it would be nice, I suppose, if my family acknowledged, even a little, that special moments are made special because of special effort. By me.

morning talk shows are designed specifically for people like our mother—women with time on their hands and in desperate need of ways to fill it.

In the past, Christmas events have included, but not been limited to: finding the least creepy mall Santa, wearing matching pajamas, decorating gingerbread houses, renting The Grinch, stuffing stockings, and driving us around to see lights.

Telling the Clausters they could not be late was akin to telling a tree that its leaves must not rustle or a clogged toilet that it can’t overflow. We are what we are, and what we were was a tornado of uncontrolled chaos.

I just got so tired of asking for help. You guys always say: ‘Don’t stress! It’ll all get done! It always gets done!’ You make me crazy with that. It gets done because I do it. That’s hard enough without you all making me feel like I belong in a straitjacket.”