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“Wow. Demons have clans? I thought you all just worked for Satan.”
“You’re not allowed to expose your demon self, Master. Not without a permit.”
the bureaucracy of hell makes me lol
upbeat, jingly melodies played, the lyrics touting celebrations about winter, snow, and reindeer with odd facial abnormalities.
lmao
From what Jag could infer, Santa turned children into coal for misbehaving.
Jag was finishing a movie about a man trapped in a corporate building, fighting terrorists,
DIE HARD
He’d never had peanut butter and chocolate before, and he was fairly sure he’d never taste anything so wonderful again.
There had been a package of shorts that seemed to go under the pants, but Jag skipped those. He wasn’t sure of their purpose.
not him going commando in JEANS!! ouch!!
Jag also couldn’t help but notice how well Ethan’s pants fit him. There apparently was a trend about human pants fitting snugly around the backside.
lmaooo
He wondered idly if he’d be able to sneak some peanut butter balls back with him when it was all said and done.
can you imagine PB balls in hell LOL
the car also played the same jingles and odd songs about possessed snow creatures, grandmothers being trampled by rogue deer, and running for one's life in a sleigh through the snow. If Jag wasn’t aware this holiday had roots in human religion, he would swear it was a demon-based celebration.
How could a drink be of a certain age or lack sexual experience? Did he even want a drink that could potentially have sex?
screaming
“I feel like all the liquid from my head has escaped out of my nose.” “Yeah, you do kind of look like someone maced you.”
Are there like ... STDs in hell?” “Nothing I can give to you. Unless you’re part spider.”
I don't want to know
Ethan taught him the ways of karaoke and introduced him to the wonders of the root vegetable: the potato.
“Why would we dress as food and mutilate gourds?”
“Trick or treat?” Jag hummed. “You demand candy under threat of mischief?”
Jag was still struggling with conflict resolution that didn’t end up with someone’s head on a spike, but had taken to human food, music, and art very well.
Because Ethan was a master at flirting and dominating a sexy situation, he seductively said, “The eggs will get cold.”
this made me lol
Ethan was lifting his hips to let Jag tug his sweatpants off when the first frog slapped into the window with a wet thud.
mood killer LOL
Whoever Joe Exotic was offended Jag to his very core.
Jag brought him a plate piled with food, since demons had no impulse control,
If you two cause the end of the world because you’re horny idiots, I’ll kill you.”
“You hear that? The demon called me ‘the witch.’ I can officially get business cards now.”
Book in hand and bugs in shirt,
this is a funny phrase LOL
Ethan felt like he had conquered hell itself by braving the university, saving the book, and wrangling a swarm of bugs.
Most of his problems throughout his life could be solved with killing something and calling it a day.
Even though Jag had spent centuries honing his skills with a blade, his ability to make anything resembling a face in the pumpkin was drastically lacking.
Except demons didn’t cry. So he’d have to settle for tearing something in half and maybe yelling.
Even with a mouthful of sprinkle donut, Jag held his scowl.
“Um.” Olivia lifted both hands in outrage. “Did you just say ‘whoops’ about getting a symbol in a demonic summoning circle backwards?”
“You’re...being a very cliché demon right now.” Ethan swallowed. “You do the temptation bit really well.”
an evil wet dream incarnate
😭😭
Jag was a pillar of strength and might, a mighty demon warrior with the body of an Olympian deity coated in the color scheme of a biblical boogeyman.
Humans were strange, small creatures. But Jag was charmed regardless.
<3
Showing up to Olivia’s party in a Power Rangers dress was not the strangest thing Ethan had ever done, but it had cracked top five.
And no offense, Olivia, but your cousin is a douchecanoe.”
Jag snapped his eyes to Ivan. “Silence.” Ivan silenced.
“You’re jealous of him?” Ivan balked, offended to his very well-toned core.
screaming !!
“Did you plan another vacation to the beach so I can take my revenge against the seagulls?”
what😭😭
“Is this like how I found out dragons aren’t real?
poor guy, I bet he was crushed
