The Pursuit of Excellence: The Uncommon Behaviors of the World's Most Productive Achievers

by Ryan Hawk

They smile first. It’s contagious. They understand the importance of first impressions. Once formed, first impressions are hard to reverse. Because of this, charismatic people behave with intention when meeting someone for the first time. They look into your eyes, ask questions that pique your curiosity, genuinely listen to your answers, and respond with an even better follow-up question. They mirror the talking speed of their counterpart and create a feeling of connection quickly. They aren’t rushed or looking over the person’s shoulder for someone “more important.” They make the other person feel like they have all the time in the world. It’s hard to connect with someone when they seem rushed. They are fully present. Olivia Fox Cabane, author of The Charisma Myth, writes, “Being present—paying attention to what’s going on rather than being caught up in your thoughts—can yield immense rewards. When you exhibit presence, those around you feel listened to, respected, and valued.”10 They don’t spread negative gossip. Instead, they focus on sharing excitement about an idea or a person.