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‘El amor mira con unos antojos que hacen parecer oro al cobre, á la probreza riqueza, y á las lagañas perlas.’
but she had left him behind. She had become acceptable.
“The best thing you ever did,” he said, “was Cleo.”
“You know what the best antidote for existential ennui is?” he asks. “Tell me,” I say. “Physical pain.”
Everyone I know is either more successful or more interesting than me. This realization is nothing new. In fact, it used to feel like everyone I didn’t know was more successful and interesting than me too.
“Eleanor!” she calls over the vibrations of the chair. “Ma!” “I never wanted you to have less!” she says.
“If you could have bought anything in that whole mall, what would you get?” I ask. She closes her eyes and thinks. I watch a smile spread across her face. “An electric can opener,” she says. Sometimes I worry my mother is shrinking in every way.
“I was trying to be, like, hyper-rational,” says the first girl. “And explain to him that he can’t treat me this way.” “That’s smart,” says her friend. “But all my human feelings got in the way,” says the first girl. “That happens,” says her friend.
You know what they say Dwight is an acronym for? Dumb White Idiots Getting High Together.”
The ward was mostly full of sad-looking young women, NYU students, he assumed,
I need to make money. I need to write today. I need to clean the bathroom. I need to eat something. I need to quit sugar. I need to cut my hair. I need to call Verizon. I need to savor the moment. I need to find the library card. I need to learn to meditate. I need to try harder. I need to get that stain out. I need to find better health insurance. I need to discover my signature scent. I need to strengthen and tone. I need to be present in the moment. I need to learn French. I need to be easier on myself. I need to buy organizational storage units. I need to call back. I need to develop a
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“That’s great feedback, Levi,” I say. “You want us to write a Yelp review or something?” Levi gives me an outraged look. “Did Mom tell you I got banned from Yelp?” he says. “I specifically told her not to.”
Days I have held, days I have lost, days that outgrow, like daughters, my harboring arms.
