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I always knew being nosy was going to get me killed one day… I really didn’t think today would be that day.
“I wasn’t flipping you off. My finger… is sore. I jammed it. When I fell. Just stretching it.”
The best way to describe Ben and Maddox is to say that all of the happiness was drained out of Maddox’s body and shoved into Ben,
She’s gone not even ten seconds before floating back down. “He’s in the bathroom and his penis… Hiro… his dick…” Her eyes get extremely wide. Oh. My. God.
She eyes me for a long moment. “Don’t you want to know how big it is?” “His desk?” I ask, knowing full well what she’s talking about. “Dick.”
“Detective Evil-Maybe-Not-So-Evil got it for me for my birthday,”
“You’re not going off and having ghost sex with Natalie on my birthday.” He shrugs. “That was once.” I stare at him. “Three times but it was an accident each time,” he says as he leans back on the couch. “How do you accidentally have sex with someone?” “It’s like ‘Oh whoops. This is my dick’ and she’s like ‘Oh whoops. This is my vagina’ and then you see what happens when you put them together.”
“Ask him if he’s dating anyone,” Natalie says. “Yes, I’m going to be like, ‘Hey, Detective Booker, even though you’re a grumpy grouch, you’re really fucking sexy, so tell me all about your sex life. Who’re you bangin—” “Grumpy grouch?”
Instead of turning to him, I slowly reach over to the window, feel around for a bit, and roll it the rest of the way up before starting my car. I will drive off into oblivion, never to be seen again.
“No time. The grumpy grouch sexy Detective Hooker needs to move on.”
Soooo she loved The Little Mermaid and painting giant schlongs?
I’m not a cat person. I’ve never wanted cats and honestly prefer dogs. I always wanted a German shepherd or a Doberman pinscher, but instead… I have cats. Two annoying, needy cats that think I’m the love of their life.
“Have you ever gotten along with anyone in your life?” I ask curiously. “No… no, I haven’t.” He’s far too proud of this fact. He’s even grinning a little, he’s so proud.
“Your closest friend is a ghost?” he asks, sounding a bit incredulous. “If you had someone who haunted you, went everywhere with you, and watched you pee on occasion, you’d just give in and make them your friend too.”
“She’s scary but in a sexy way,” Natalie says. “I think she’s my soulmate.” “I thought Maddox was,” I say. “Nah, you can have him. He likes the wang too much, I think,” she says as she floats through the vehicle to get a better look at the woman.
“So that was Maddox’s… something. Boyfriend? I dunno, but I’m pretty sure he hates my guts because he thinks I want Maddox.” “Thinks? Honey, it’s clear you want that hunkalicious. Do you want me to battle him for you so you can take Maddox?”
Stripper Ghost did say he’d like to gyrate in your face again when you have some spare time. Said it made him feel alive and horny.”
“The moment you say horny, I’m here and ready,” Natalie says as she pops into the back seat
“I’ve… I’ve never met a ghost that’s malicious before,” I admit. “She… she fucking pushed me. She tried to kill me. She… she’s been following me. Since the day we found the drowning girl. I see her places. And now I know she’s trying to kill me.”
“Thank god I’m still in a panic over your life or I’m positive you would be fretting over your life again.”
“Don’t do that shit again, you hear me? I can’t guardian angel your ass if you’re dead,”
Thank you so much, Maddox. I appreciate it and hope you don’t mind when I climb into your bed naked and ride you into the sunset.’”
There’s a confused knock on the door. I’m not sure if the knock is actually confused, but I feel like it portrays confusion.
“Why, I was just feasting on a healthy dose of humiliation,” I say. “Well… would you like real food? To go with the humiliation?” he asks.
Alright, the bird riding the cat is a little distracting.
“So… you want me to suck you off?” Maddox asks with a gleam in his eye.
“No words?” “Nah, you fucked them out of me,” I say with a grin. “Oh wow… I never… never really thought you could be speechless. The power of my cock is out of this world.”
He kisses my forehead before wrapping me up in his arms and holding me close. How I can get so much comfort through his arms, I’ll never know, but it gives me hope that everything is going to be alright.
I’m dying, the only thing that’ll bring me back from the dead is for you to tell me I’m the greatest in the world. I’m just joking. Send a dick pic.
