His & Hers

by Alice Feeney

Besides, I like the way it feels around my neck: a cozy personalized noose.

Oh *veggietales sound *

A person’s voice is like a wave—some just wash right over you, while others have the power to knock you down and drag you into an ocean of self-doubt. The sound of her speaking makes me feel like I’m drowning.

Damn, that's deep

“So, it is murder.”

Got him lol

“Because Dad is the one who did this to me.”

Oh! *veggietales sound* Nothing like a little domestic violence *thumbs up*

“The friendship bracelet was tied around the victim’s tongue.”

Nani?!?

I don’t even think of myself as a killer really; I’m just a person who has decided to do a public service for the benefit of others.

Okay *looks around nervously*

“I meant the coffee,” I add, and take a sip. Priya’s smile vanishes and I feel like an asshole.

Dude, really? Lol

The letters appear to have been made using a staple gun.

My God!

“Don’t suppose you’ve got a mint or some chewing gum?” she asked.

I don't support this!

I weigh up my options and conclude that my colleague needs me more than my sister.

That's crazy... potential puh over you're sister's safety *shaking my head*

When our daughter was born Zoe sent us lilies, a well-known symbol of death.

Devious ass behavior

One of her eyes is open, and appears to be staring at something written on the wall; the other one has been sewn closed, a needle and thick black thread still dangling from her eyelid.

*inaudible sounds*

The pain of spending it without her almost killed me, but I changed my mind.

This line makes it seem like this is Anna... not 100% sure

My fingers hover over the handle of the front door, but I can’t just leave.

I can, deuces

I trip and fall before I reach the bottom, twisting my ankle and landing in a crumpled heap on the floor.

You had ONE job!

Inside, I found a black felt hat, with a gray fur trim.

She made a Kit Kat hat...

“I think she knows I killed your father.”

NANI!?!

Then I buried him in the garden.

Wow!

“Perhaps we should split up?” Priya says. “Why don’t you look upstairs while I finish checking the rooms down here?”

Bitch, does this look like scooby doo?

every step that I take

Come on Bobby Brown!

I said at the start of this journey that I was going to kill them all, and I meant every word.

Respect

Fear can make runners of us all.

She's a runner, she's a track star!

It’s hard to believe, but everyone else seems to.

Not really, I believe it

I’m pleased to see that the knife that killed them all is still there.

*in shock*

Anything.

What do you mean by that?

Nobody suspects a little old lady with dementia of killing people.

.......excuse me?

I had to kill them all. I did it for her.

Shook!