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being on this earth for thirty-one years and then ceasing to be. Just like that.
This was a cruel trick of the mind, yes, but Teddy had long ago accepted the logic of it—waking, after all, was an almost natal state. You surfaced without a history, then spent the blinks and yawns reassembling your past, shuffling the shards into chronological order before fortifying yourself for the present.
THE LAW OF 4 I AM 47 THEY WERE 80 +YOU ARE 3 WE ARE 4 BUT WHO IS 67?
The idea is to obfuscate. Confuse the listener until they believe out of exhaustion more than any sense of truth.
The base of those hills is covered in poison ivy, live oak, sumac, about a thousand different plants, and all of ’em with thorns the size of my dick.” “That mean they’re big or little?”
We were supposed to grow old together, Dolores. Have kids. Take walks under old trees. I wanted to watch the lines etch themselves into your flesh and know when each and every one of them appeared. Die together.
Charm was the luxury of those who still believed in the essential rightness of things. In purity and picket fences.
EDWARD DANIELS BAD SAILOR 1920-1957
No logic to it—he barely knew her. But there it was just the same. He’d just met the woman he’d known, somehow, since before he was born. The measure of every dream he’d never dared indulge.
18—1—4—9—5—4—19—1—12—4—23—14—5 R—A—D—I—E—D—S—A—L—D—W—N—E
If I don’t owe Dolores my life, I owe her that much, at least. Going to find you. Going to kill you dead.
“If I ever had to go back to that place, I’d kill myself,” and Teddy had said, “That’s not going to happen.” A lie apparently.
Slick as shit through a goose, to use an expression Teddy’s father had been fond of.
outside of love, the greatest feeling in the world. To have escaped.
13(M)-21(U)-25(Y)-18(R)-1(A)-5(E)-8(H)-15(O)-9(I)
“You’ll never get off here. You’re one of us now.”
“Marshal,” she said, “you have no friends.”
He could feel the age of it, more ancient than gods and prouder of its body count.