Paladin's Hope (The Saint of Steel, #3)

by T. Kingfisher

“Well, if you want my professional opinion, this great goddamn hole in his chest is probably what killed him.”

Amen

“Not many bulls goring people indoors,” said Galen. “Thank you for that exceedingly helpful observation, Paladin Galen.” “I live to serve.”

SKJFHDHFKKSHDNGH

“A gnole is only a slewhound who talks.” Piper actually felt Galen bristle beside him. I’m surprised his armor didn’t rattle. “Did someone say that to you?” asked the paladin softly. “Give me a name, and they won’t say it again.”

GALEN YOU CHIVALROUS BASTARD

“And the paladin is here because…?” Galen coughed. “My dear captain, perhaps you do not need to know why the good doctor and I happened to already be together at this hour of the morning?”

SCREAMMMMMMM

“Brindle!” called Galen, waving. “Tomato-man,” said Brindle, lifting a hand. “You made it.”

BRINDLE!!!!!!

Hell, when the doctor bit the index finger of his glove to pull it off, Galen had briefly lost the power of speech. The slide of leather over skin, barely audible, made him want to howl like a dog.

REAL!!!! YEARNING!!!!!!!!

It occurred to Piper that he had just flung himself into Galen’s arms like a long-lost lover, rather than like a friendly acquaintance and travel companion. He stepped back, feeling a blush already starting to climb his neck. “I…uh…” “No, no, I love it when handsome men hug me for not being dead.” Galen paused, grinning at Piper.

I love them your honour

Piper looked over and saw that Earstripe was urinating off the side of his tile into the pit. “What?” said the gnole. “A gnole had to go.”

HELPPPPP

Would Piper be able to tell what he’d been thinking when he died? Should he think something as a message? What sort of thing? It’s not your fault? You’re very sexy and I regret not jumping your bones?

Pleaseeeee

Perhaps thirty seconds later, just when someone who had crouched down would have been feeling relieved and maybe straightening up a little, a second set closed like jaws, about eighteen inches away from his face. “Clever,” said Galen, because the alternative was to piss himself. “Very clever.”

SKDMDJSKDNSNSNS

“I should have killed myself after Hallowbind. I should have known that I was too broken to live around other people. Damn Stephen and Istvhan for stopping me.”

GALEN NO

“It’s a noble sentiment, but you can’t ask people to pour themselves out for something that doesn’t care and can’t be fixed and at the end they’re empty and nothing changes.”

Yeah :/

“Oh, don’t mind me,” said Galen. “I’ve been wanting you on your knees for days now. I was just hoping that it wouldn’t be my knee you were paying attention to.”

HELLO.....

Galen tried to think of a polite way to tell the other two paladins to make themselves scarce. Unfortunately, at the moment all he could think of was, “Get lost, you bastards,” and that seemed undiplomatic. “I think I’d like a beer,” rumbled Marcus. He looked at Shane. “And so would you.” “I would?” said Shane, who rarely drank at all. “Yes. You would love one.”

Please skdjddbshs i love the humour in these books

“Perhaps you should go,” said Piper finally. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” “I believe you.” Galen let himself out. The door clicked quietly behind him. Piper sat in front of the hearth and made a cup of tea and didn’t drink it until long after it went cold.

THE ANGSTTTTTT

Earstripe looked from Galen to Piper and back again, frowning. “Something wrong between bone-doctor and tomato-man?” “Nothing of consequence,” said Piper. That hurt. It shouldn’t have hurt, but it did. Galen felt as if someone had taken a chisel and gouged a line out of his sternum. Nothing of consequence. He’d been lying awake and tormenting himself for days over nothing of consequence.

OH MY CHEST ACHES BITCH

“Well. I nearly shit myself a few times, how about you gentlemen?”

HELP

“Now this architecture,” said Stephen, rather loudly, “is a style that doesn’t really have a name, but I suspect we will end up calling it something like “Post-Flood Revival,” and seems to be characterized by—” “Stephen, I am going to make you eat that architecture.”

GOD I LOVE THEM