This Is Going to Hurt: Secret Diaries of a Young Doctor

by Adam Kay

A widely held belief among nondoctors is that there’s some degree of choice involved in coming home at ten p.m. rather than eight. But really, the only choice is whether you fuck over yourself or your patients.

Even though I felt protective of my profession, particularly with the other tables around, Christ knows we need people to go into it with both eyes open. So I told them the truth: the hours are terrible, the pay is terrible, the conditions are terrible; you’re underappreciated, unsupported, disrespected, and frequently physically endangered. But there’s no better job in the world.

It’s a system that barely has enough slack to allow for sick leave, let alone something as intangible as recovering from an awful day. And, in truth, doctors can’t acknowledge how devastating these moments really are. If you’re going to survive working in this profession, you have to convince yourself these horrors are just part of your job. You can’t pay any attention to the man behind the curtain—your own sanity relies on it.