This Is Going to Hurt: Secret Diaries of a Young Doctor

by Adam Kay

Today in the mess* over lunch we’re trading stories about nonsense symptoms that people have presented with. Between us in the last few weeks, we’ve seen patients with itchy teeth, sudden improvement in hearing, and arm pain during urination. Each one gets a polite ripple of laughter, like a local dignitary’s speech at a graduation ceremony. We go round the table sharing our version of campfire ghost stories until it’s Seamus’s turn. He tells us he saw someone in the ER this morning who thought he was sweating on only half his face.

I notice that every patient on the ward has a pulse of 60 recorded in the observation chart so I surreptitiously inspect the health-care assistant’s measurement technique. He feels the patient’s pulse, looks at his watch, and meticulously counts the number of seconds per minute.

I call Simon back after a cesarean this evening. I’ve got my counseling sessions down to about twenty minutes—it’s just a case of listening, being sympathetic, and reassuring him the feelings will pass. He must realize we have the same chat every time, but it clearly doesn’t matter—he just wants to know there’s someone out there who cares. And actually, that’s a very large part of what being a doctor is.

Next time a government tries to denigrate doctors or take a pickax to the health-care system, don’t just accept what the politicians feed you. Think about the toll the job takes on every medical professional, at home and at work. Remember that all of them do an absolutely impossible job to the very best of their abilities. Your time in the hospital may well hurt them a lot more than it hurts you.