Idol, Burning

by Rin Usami

skin and clipped your nails because they kept growing. I exhausted myself trying to achieve the bare minimum, but it had never been enough. My will and my body would always disengage before I got there.

Iknow

I felt that someone was telling me that it was okay to feel heavy at the prospect of growing up, of shouldering weight. The shadows of others who carried that same burden seemed to rise up through his small body. I was connected with him, and, through him, I was also connected with everybody who stood on the other

Adulting is indeed suck

soon! We’re here for you Masaki! > < tfw

There were as many styles of fandom as there were fans. Some people worshipped every move their oshi made, while others thought discernment made the true fan. There were those who had a romantic interest in their oshi but no interest in their oshi’s work; others who had no such feelings but sought a direct connection through engaging on social media; people who enjoyed their oshi’s output but didn’t care about the gossip; those who found fulfillment in supporting the oshi financially; others who valued being part of a fan community.

So true

I couldn’t manage life the way everyone else easily seemed to, and I struggled with the messy consequences every day. But pushing my oshi was the center of my life, a given, and my one point of clarity. It was more than a core—it was my backbone.

cloudy like milk. A group of men, who’d

People never thought I was trying to do things right. They usually just said I was lazy.

I know how it feels

along with their oshi in the chair their

urine spilled out of me and made a vapid sound. I felt alone. The unbearable