Hunting Adeline (Cat and Mouse, #2)

by H.D. Carlton

“You can’t have it,” I taunt. He eyes me closely, understanding what I’m doing and not liking it. Yet, he’ll never disobey me, knowing that the trust I’ve placed on him will be shattered. Giving respect hurts like a bitch when your hands are tied.

"I may own every breath in your body, but make no mistake, Adeline, you own mine, too. I am yours to command. To bend and break. To mold and manipulate. Do you think that makes me weak? Or do you think I'm strong enough to admit that even though my body can physically live on without you, I would never get my fucking soul back?”

His hand slides into my hair and fists the strands tightly. "Without you, I will shatter. But with you, I am indestructible."

That fire rises, building in the pit of my stomach and ascending up my chest like lava. Who gave him the right to touch me? Who gives anybody the fucking right to? The trembling increases until my bones are rattling and my teeth chatter.

All I see is a faceless man trying to take what he wants from me without my permission. And I want him to fucking burn for it.

“You’re no different, right?” I bite out, my voice cracking. “You’ve forced yourself on me before, remember? Taken from me—stolen from me. What makes you so different, huh?” My eyes burn from the tears welling up. And within seconds, they spill, running down my cheeks. “Do those memories keep you up at night?” he asks, his voice soft. “Do they torment you?”

He’s angry because he’s helpless. Hopeless. A goddamn lost cause. Because I will never be the same. And he knows that. But what he doesn’t know is what that means for him. For us.

“What you’ve forgotten is that the heart beating inside your chest isn’t fucking yours,” he snarls. “It’s mine. And if my heart has stopped working, then pull that trigger, little mouse. Kill the rest of me. I’m nothing if I’m not the reason you breathe.”

No. What I want is that gun back in my hand so I can turn it on myself.

I loved both versions of you, and I love who you are now—someone full of both strength and vulnerability. Yet still, you carry fire in your heart, and that will never fucking change. They will never take that from you, Adeline.”

“I don’t want your apologies or guilt, Adeline. I want you to tell me the truth. What did holding a gun to my head make you feel?” Tightening my lips, I quiet the shame and look past that. What did it make me feel?

It made me feel… in control. I was holding someone else’s life in my hands, and it was my decision and only mine if I pulled that trigger. I held something precious. Something irreversible. And it was all… mine.

He looks so goddamn savage, and I think my ovaries are exploding. He’s going to get me pregnant just from this image alone.

“I don’t care if I need to set this world on fire until there’s no one left but you and me. The world will burn around us, and I’ll gladly live in chaos with you as long as the only person that is a danger to you is me.”

I may have cracked, but they did not shatter me. My rose still has fucking thorns, Zade. Do you understand me?”

“I wanted to know what it tasted like when someone else bleeds for me,” I whisper.

“A good man would be sorry that he corrupted something so pure.” “You’ve never been a good man,” I whisper, reiterating the exact words he’s told me so many times before. “No,” he agrees. “But I have always been yours.”

Scars only serve as reminders of what we’ve survived, not what killed us.

“Sometimes,” she whispers. “Sometimes they burn. As if the blade never stopped cutting through my skin.”

“I’ve followed you through lifetimes, Adeline. My soul needs you so badly that I’ve become a shadow, destined to hunt you for eternity.”

“Does anything about the way I love you feel tragic?” I ask, brushing my lips across her jaw. “Yes,” she whimpers. “But only because one day it will end.”

“You and I will never end, little mouse. Even when we’re six feet under, and our bones are dust, I will haunt your soul until it aches to be free of me. And then, I will hold you tighter.”

“I don’t ever want to be free of you, Zade. Not in this lifetime, and not in all the ones that come after.”

My demons are tickling the back of my brain, begging to be let in to wreak havoc on my sanity. Drag me from this precious moment where I reclaim something that was stolen from me. So, I focus every ounce of my attention on the man beneath me.

“Do you want to see how easily I can break you?” I murmur coyly.

“I love you, Zade. Sometimes I can’t fucking stand it,” I say, my voice raspy and uneven. “But it was the only thing that kept me alive. You saved me. Even when we were apart, you saved me. And I hope to God you never stop hunting me.”

“Would you rather I break free myself? You either choose this, or I make the decision for you.” So, what he’s saying is I only have the illusion of a choice. What a fucking gentleman.

“I will carve a garden of scars into your flesh, little mouse. Only my pain will bring them to life.” I tip my head back, groaning from the sharp bite of his knife. “They'll only ever grow beneath my touch.”

“She was trying to build a relationship with me,” I blither. “And I… I was being difficult about it.”

Nodding, I turn and head for the room, heart in my throat. And when I open the door and see her lying there so still and pale, I nearly choke on it.

Blowing out a breath, I sit in the recliner, and grab my mother’s hand. It’s cool to the touch, but she feels… alive. Not cold and stiff like a corpse, which brings me a small amount of comfort.

Once I feel like I have it somewhat together, I drop them and grab her hand again. “I’m holding your hand, but you’re still gone.

I feel, like Medusa with a crown of angry snakes. It’s not fair, but it’s becoming harder and harder to look at Zade and not blame him, too. I’m beginning to revert back to that bitter, hateful part of myself that was convinced my life wouldn’t be such a goddamn shitshow if Zade didn’t come barreling into it. And like Medusa, because I’m wrongly being punished, I want to punish everyone else in retaliation.

Erm.... No?

What if he gets into her head by then? Convinces her I’m bad for her, and then she decides that I’m not worth loving after all.

Just when I get the chance to have a real relationship with my mom, it’s ripped away from me. It kind of feels like condensing my entire childhood into one day and making me relive it.

He’s laughing at me, and I want to hurt him. Not with my fists, but with my words. I want him to hate me so he will understand what it feels like to hate someone so much, yet still crave them.

He bares his teeth, and my lungs constrict. “Did you get so good at writing books that you don’t know the difference between reality and your imagination anymore?”

“Does this feel good? Does it feel good to punish me for something your father is doing?” he asks, his deep voice merely a whisper.

A crater has formed, filling with an ocean that divides us. It’s funny how this is the furthest I’ve felt from him, even when hundreds of miles separated us.

A seed of panic sprouts, but maybe that’s just adrenaline. Because the way Zade peers at me now, it looks as if he’s going to choose himself. He’s going to lash out, and I will be the one left hanging.

Gotta love these bitches being toxic as hell

He ignores me. “Your heart, your soul, and your very breath. Run, little mouse. This time, no one will be chasing you.” His last words choke me, and then he walks through my room and out of the door, softly closing it behind him.

Stop it, Addie. This is the right decision. Is it, though? You’re protecting your family. Then why does it feel like I’ve alienated my very soul from my body? Pushed it out as if it didn’t belong there. You don’t need him to survive, Addie.

No, I don’t. I’ve proven that to be true during the months where I was forced to do nothing but survive. I can live without Zade. But that doesn’t mean it won’t fucking hurt. That doesn’t mean I won’t live without a large piece of myself missing.

My parents would’ve been kidnapped and possibly tortured if it wasn’t for him. He knew Claire was going to pull something, checked on them to make sure they were safe, and got us up and over there before they could take them.

When Zade and I are happy, it’s easy to forget how much he enjoys seeing me suffer. And I wonder if this is why I lash out thoughtlessly. Maybe a part of me likes the way he makes me suffer, too.

There is so much wrong with you girl

He hums at me. “You use pretty words as sharp knives, and I think you’ve become attached to seeing me scarred. Do they make your pussy wet, baby?”

“I’ve given you nothing but honesty, and you continue to give me lies. Is this another attempt to bring me back in just to kick me out again?” I swallow, my throat drier than the bark digging into my back.

“No,” I rasp, and my lip trembles from the shame burning the backs of my eyes. “You’re right. I… There’s no excuse for what I said. I don’t want you to leave. And I do love you.”

“So you’ve said,” he murmurs. He cocks his head and muses aloud, “Yet you tried to take it back. You gave me something preci...

“I think I could eat you alive, Adeline. Consume every bit of you while you scream beneath me. And even in death, you would still torture me. I would die of starvation because nothing else would compare to you.”