a woman who lived next to my grandmother. She would get really drunk in the afternoon. Then she’d call handymen on the phone to settle scores. The drunker she got, the more grammatical she would get. “Listen up!” she would say. “Your, quote, ‘lawn boy,’ unquote, never showed up to mow my lawn today and I’m furious! Exclamation point! I received i before e except after c an invoice and he never showed up. Period.”
