Before I met Fritz I longed for guys who were unavailable. Who couldn’t quite do it. Who weren’t really ready. I grieved my mom through men. It’s easy to blame the guy—What an asshole, etc. But I always felt less victimized if I asked myself, What is your part, Molly? What does it say about you that you picked him? And what it says about me is that, before Fritz, I picked men who couldn’t really do it because I was scared shitless myself. I wasn’t really ready, either. It wasn’t just the guys’ fault. I was scared of intimacy, too. It meant I might get swallowed up if it was someone who was
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