The Love Hypothesis

by Ali Hazelwood

twenty-three

A PHD AT 23!!!!

he must have been over half a foot taller than she was.

Why do my short men never get credit?

“Title IX is a federal law that protects against sexual misconduct within academic settings—”

YES KING!!!!

“I must be mistaken, then. Someone else must have assaulted me.” “Assault—I didn’t ‘assault’ you.” “You did kiss me.” “But not really.” “Without first securing my consent.” “I asked if I could kiss you!” “And then did so without waiting for my response.”

This man!! Yes!!!! Call her out!!!

His kids would grow up with horrible daddy issues and become serial killers.

Me overthinking

she had realized only recently that she might be able to experience sexual attraction, but only with people she trusted deeply?

Baby same

“To be clear, oral and butt stuff totally counts as sex—”

I love Malcolm

thirtyfour pages single-spaced, Arial (11 point), no justification.

This is giving me PTSD

Olive wasn’t like this. She really was not. She could count the number of guys she’d been this viscerally attracted to on one hand. Actually—on one finger.

Same

He, too, was shirtless, and clearly fit, and had a large number of abs that were defined enough to be easily counted. And yet, for some reason, it did absolutely nothing for Olive.

Love my demisexual girly

And she was glad she’d ended up chickening out of forwarding him that Onion article on sunsafety tips.

The kinda rizz i bring to the function

how rare it was for her to experience attraction, especially sexual attraction. If there was something wrong with her. If her past had stunted her in some way.

Carry yourself with the confidence of a mediocre white man.’”

“Tom!”

I don’t trust this guy

“I think you and I will get along great next year.”

Icky!!! ICKY!!!

“Some bitch he’s been fucking for about two weeks, or someone who’s been a close friend for years?

Definitely her you fucking wank stain

She startled when she found him kneeling in front of her. Right by her chair, his head level with hers, studying her with a worried frown. She made to hide her face in her palms, but his hand came up to her chin and lifted it up, until she had no choice but to meet his eyes. Then his fingers slid up to her cheek, cupping it as he asked, yet again, “Olive. What happened?”

This!! Man!!

Holden stole my law school applications and made paper planes out of them.

I actually love Holden

“Ssh. I’ll clean you up myself.”

Im too single

“I’m going to kill you,” he gritted out, little more than a growl. “If you say another word about the woman I love, if you look at her, if you even think about her—I’m going to fucking kill you.”

I need a man like Adam

“I just want her to be safe. And happy. And to have what she needs.”

Is there something you need? Name it. It’s yours. If I have it, it’s yours.

I'm not crying..you're crying