John Dies at the End (John Dies at the End, #1)

by David Wong

You know what you people are like, Fred? You’re like the genie from the bottle in those stories. You get a wish and you wish for a million dollars and then it turns out the million is from an insurance settlement because your best friend died.”

They came looking for dark and terrible revelations and instead found out something even more dark and terrible: that their lives were trite and boring.

“John, we gotta move that body.” “It can wait. You’ll still be dead tomorrow.”

“Which would prove I’m a monster, Arnie? Sacrificing the people I love for the fight? Or walking away from the fight to save the people I love?”

I am not here to make music. I am here to break music. Crowds should leave the venue feeling like God pissed in their ear canal and Satan licked it dry.