John Dies at the End (John Dies at the End, #1)

by David Wong

“Assuming this is true, which, incidentally, I’m not drunk enough to do, how can you possibly prove that?”

Some would have doubted their sanity at this point, but by now the part of my mind that issued doubts about my sanity had melted from overuse.

“Ma’am,” I said, “if your dog was dabbling in the occult while you had her it’s best you tell us now. We’re experts.”

Something coming back from the dead was almost always bad news. Movies taught me that. For every one Jesus you get a million zombies.

The group might have either pursued him or raised their rifles to perforate his windshield had a gorilla riding a giant crab not leapt out of the woods and eaten two of them. You heard me.