When we’ve experienced a great loss, often we say we’re sad—we’re grieving or mourning—but what bubbles out of us like a volcano is anger: hot, volatile, explosive anger. Anger is active, powerful; it buoys us along and gives us something to do and focus on and sharpen. Anger makes us feel like we’re in control again, because loss is, at its core, loss of control, or the myth of it anyway—I couldn’t keep that person alive. I couldn’t make them stay. I couldn’t fix our problems. I couldn’t save whatever it is that was broken.
