This shrinking of the self starts in small ways: pretending you want to see a horror film at the cinema; making Spotify playlists of songs that might impress them instead of the ones you really want to listen to; buying a dress you can’t afford just because you think they’ll like it. But soon, you’re saying no to plans with friends just to keep an evening free on the off-chance they might ask to see you at the last minute. You’re acting like it’s not a big deal that they didn’t show up at your birthday until 11 p.m. You’re pretending you don’t need relationship labels or consistent
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