A child might say, ‘I want to kill Granny. She’s so stupid.’ And the parent might say, ‘No you don’t, you love her.’ Actually, a wiser parent would say, ‘I suppose we do all sometimes get a bit angry with others, maybe she disappointed you in some way. What way might that be?’ Then the child might get in touch with their feelings to understand why, and they can talk about it. But people run away from more disturbing feelings in their children and encourage them to cut themselves off from them. Then, as an adult, they might not feel their feelings are legitimate.
