but what people lose in a long-term relationship is kindness. They lose it for a number of reasons: because once you’ve got close to somebody, they can much more easily push your buttons than a stranger can, and vice versa. You’re unlikely to throw a temper tantrum if a friend does something that irritates you. But with somebody you love and who loves you, often it’s easier to shout than it is to step back and think, no, I ought to treat my partner almost as if they were a stranger. I should be kind and keep a little distance.
