‘Hold on, you disagree with me? That must mean you don’t love me, because you never disagreed in the beginning.’ You can either react to the threat of difference by nagging each other all the time, or by shutting down, having no connection at all and putting your attention on work or children or elsewhere. A constant problem for couples I see is that balance between keeping the connection while also keeping sufficient distance, so that you can be kind to one another. Whereas other things can vary, this underlies most of the problems I’ve seen.
