Why, then, do we fixate on spontaneous desire as a measure of a good sexual relationship? I’ve wondered this a lot and I don’t have a science-based answer. I think it’s partly to do with desire being an optimal state for capitalism. You have to continue wanting things so you continue consuming, so you continue stimulating the economy. There’s a baseline sense that being constantly full of desire is the appropriate state to be in, which is bizarre, because isn’t desire just dissatisfaction for what we currently have? Why is that the goal?
