Compelled (Shadow Beast Shifters, #5)

by Jaymin Eve

I’ve always said I fall in love with hearts not parts, and that stood true, but so far I hadn’t found the one with the heart I was searching for.

“That bitch has two libraries?” I cried. “We really need to have a long conversation about sharing.”

“You fucking did this to me, you stupid, oversized beast. Of course, you would create a giant baby trying to annihilate my vagina.”

“Your friend did what?” she raged. “What did they do to Simone that she can’t even speak about it with her family?”

“I love you, Sunshine,” he said. “You’re a fucking miracle.” She laughed through tears. “This baby’s first word is going to be fuck.” Shadow shrugged like he really didn’t care. “And I love you too,” Mera told him, her laughter fading as tears streaked her skin. Tears of joy and healing and hope. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. You and our baby. Our family.”

Home was an addictive feeling for one who’d never experienced it.

“I don’t want to compete in a selection.” “You have no damn choice,” he shot back. “They can still kill you for touching the stone. We have to follow through.”

“You must love Mera a lot,” I finally choked out, accepting his words, “to offer yourself in the selection to save her friend.” To my surprise he said, “I’m not doing this for her.”

“You can ensure you don’t end up as a mate to Carter,” he said, fangs descending until they were all I could stare at, “by making sure you end up as my mate. That’s why I signed up. I am literally your last chance at not losing your freedom and, possibly, your life.” He released his hold, and my legs barely managed to keep me upright as I landed on them. “So don’t fuck it up,” he growled.

“This isn’t real—” “I know that!” I cut him off. “But I can’t handle your hot-and-cold, passive-aggressive bullshit for the entire duration.” I waved my hands toward my face. “Like that kiss just now, which was, as always, followed by rejection. Just stop. Stop doing that. Either leave me alone and I’ll take my chances with Carter or go all in for this selection.”

“You don’t handle Simone like that.” A rumbling rasp of words. “Not now. Not ever.”

“I relate in the way that while I don’t have a true mate, I understand why they destroy cities. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to lose your shit for those you love. I don’t even have to be mated to feel that primal drive. In a way, you’re fighting for your own life since you wouldn’t survive without your mate, and self-preservation is one of our strongest instincts.”

“I understand why you are Mera’s best friend,” Shadow finally said, and he couldn’t have given me a greater compliment. “You will make a worthy mate and are the best example of what I expect shifters to be. Not the shame that many have brought on themselves.”

“Just remember,” Shadow continued, “that while I can’t interfere in a political manner, I can still be there as Simone’s family. Mera considers her a sister, and so do I.” My stomach jumped at being claimed as family by a being we’d always worshipped as a god. Whose life am I living? “I protect my own as well,” Lucien growled back.

“My offer in no way takes away from what you’re doing to protect her,” Shadow said without heat. “As with Reece and our last foray into the Desert Lands, sometimes situations end up being more than expected, and a little backup never goes astray.”

“We are honored for you all to meet Damon, named for the warrior god recognized in both our races. Born of meadow and desert, a bridge between two worlds, and the miracle that we never expected.”

I wished to one day be in the middle of the joy and not hovering on the outside.

As Mera would put it: slutterbrain. I had a really bad case of slutterbrain.

“Why does Valdor feel like home to me?” I asked, needing to understand. He moved closer and, to my surprise, took a seat right beside me—close enough that I could sense his energy swishing across my skin. “I wish I knew,” he said quietly, and there was this odd catch in his tone that had me turning to examine his features. “I also wish I knew why it feels right to have you here and why it was empty when you left. You’re a shifter, but it has never felt like there’s any difference between our races.”

While you’re here in Valdor, you do belong to me. Mine. Mine to protect and control.”

“Anyone who touched you and didn’t appreciate the fucking gift they were given deserves to die.”

“You have a pack now,” he said in his low hypnotic tone. “This is what we do for each other, no questions asked and no need to thank. We stand together so none of us will ever fall.”

“Bee,” he said, voice a rasp of dark energy. “If Carter touches you again, I’m going to kill him.”

You stand here”—he waved his hand across the silky material—“looking positively edible”—his fangs descended, and I was trying really hard not to react—“and no one should be touching you.” He moved so we were touching. “Until this selection is done, you belong to me. Remember that. We made the deal.”

My name was called over the speaker, ordering me to the dance floor. Lucien’s name was next. We didn’t move though, the moment and confusing feelings holding us in stasis. “I know we’re playing this game to win,” I said with a sigh, my chest tight, “but it doesn’t—” “Feel like a game,” he finished.

“I’m in too deep to back away. Game or not, let’s just see how it plays out.”

Carter leaned in, and for once his voice was gentle. “I had a mate. She was the most precious being in the world to me while she was alive. I would have died for her in a heartbeat. Killed for her without hesitation. Bled so she didn’t have to. You deserve a mate just like that.” My throat grew tight as I nodded. “Yes, I do. But see, you’ve already had that with a vampire. I would always just be second place. I’ve always been second place in the lives of those who were supposed to love me.” He opened his mouth, but I went on before he could interrupt. “I’m not saying that for sympathy. I came to terms with my truth long ago, but when it comes to a mate, I want to be first. The same way they would be for me.”

Carter was watching me so closely that I felt almost naked under his gaze, but I wasn’t quite done yet. “You talk of dying and fighting and loving your mate,” I said softly, “and I have no doubt that every day of her life was amazing. I’m sorry she’s gone now, and I hope for your future happiness. But I’m not the one for you.” Carter’s smile was sudden and brilliant… and completely disconcerting. “That’s why I called you to this selection,” he said. “You are perfect for me. A true partner.”

Carter stopped moving, even though the music wasn’t quite done. “I need you to understand, Simone, that when my mate died, I did as well. My heart and my soul and the parts of me that gave a fuck about anything died. It wasn’t until you touched the stone, sent out the burst of energy, and shocked me back to life that I was reborn. The way I see it, this version of Carter can make his new mate number one. This is my rebirth, and I plan to embrace it fully.”

“You know your future can change at any point you want it to,” I told him. “And you are not your parents. If we don’t learn and do better, then what is the point of living at all?”

“At times I find it hard to believe you are so young when your soul is so wise. I’ll think on your words, Bee.”

He tilted my head back and leaned over to press a long, lingering kiss to my lips. “Until the selection is done, you belong to me, Bee. And I never share.”

Last time I’d been here, I’d felt pathetic throwing myself at a vampire who didn’t want me. This time was all different. Lucien wanted me, so I would embrace it all. Until that time ran out. Ticktock.

“As far as I’m concerned,” he said darkly, “there’s been no sex in your life until now. I will wipe all other touches from your memory. All other seeds from your body. I will claim every part of you until there’s no memory but me.”

“I’m starting to wonder about the emptiness, you know?” he finally said. “The bee is essential, after all.”

“Hurting me would hurt you?” Lucien didn’t mince words. “It would break me. Now, go to breakfast and eat nothing until I get there.”

“You asked me what I’d talk about if I was truly looking for a mate,” he said. “And the truth is, I would tell them that I’m a broken, damaged being. That I don’t know if I can be a great mate, but that if I found the one who called to my blood, I’d destroy worlds to keep them safe.”

“There is nothing I wouldn’t do for my mate,” he continued as I took a piece from his hand. “And that is a dangerous path. My parents had no logic when it came to each other, and I’ve inherited that.”

“Love is not weakness,” I told him, as serious as I’d ever felt. “If you’ve been missing half of your soul, then you’ve been missing half of your strength.

if love was the most dangerous emotion in the worlds, hope was a close second.

“There’s only ever been one in this competition for me, Simone Lewison. You know that.”

Lucien watched from nearby, and when my howl died off, his eyes blazed. “You burn brighter than any star I’ve ever seen. One day I’d like to kill your parents for ever making you believe that you were less. There’s nothing less about you, Simone Lewison. Not now and not before.”

Those black eyes bored into mine, holding me completely captive. “It’s not close enough,” he said, voice a hypnotic rumble. “You’ll stay here, in my house. After the end of the selection, you will be my mate, and my mate stays with me.”

“His vampire is in control when it comes to Simone,” Shadow said, sounding somewhat relaxed. “Don’t expect anything rational until he sorts himself out.”

I was done being the poor, unlovable shifter.

“Your blood tastes like life,” he murmured. “It tastes like energy. I can’t let you go now, Bee. If you don’t feel the same, then you’re going to have a fucking vampire following you everywhere to ensure your safety while he tries to convince you to take a chance on love. You’re part of me now.” He leaned back far enough to clamp a hand over his chest. “You’re in here. In my blood and energy. In my cells. There’d be no point to life without you. So, yes, I am claiming you as a real mate.”

Shadow let out a low laugh as he lifted his daughter into his arms and patted her back a few times, settling her with ease. “I approve of this mating,” he said as he stepped forward. “Our pack and family were destined to join. I’m starting to understand the reason I bonded with my brothers, and now I believe that Mera’s friends are the catalysts for the other mates.”

Lucien’s hand shot out and landed on his friend’s chest. “Too close, brother,” he bit out. “She almost died and now she’s naked and I’m feeling a little possessive. I don’t want to fight any of you, so back up a touch.”

“I love you.” The words burst from me, feeling right. “Thank you for fighting for me.” He stopped and swept his arms around me, pulling me up into the tightest hug. “There’s no reason for living without you, Simone,” he murmured. “My love for you is beyond anything I’ve ever felt. It’s beyond any words I can give you, but I promise my actions will always speak of my utter devotion toward you. You’ll never want for anything again, emotional or material.”