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“Oh, no,” Seth whispered. “I’m standing right here and I wish I wasn’t.”
It will not be slow. It will not be kind. My wrath will be unending, and whoever comes will regret ever being born.”
“That’s ableist, and I won’t stand for it. Of course I can.”
I already have enough twinks to deal with, I don’t need another one.”
“We’re queer. We walk fast because of our survival instinct.”
I feel bad for the heteros. They wanted us to run from them, and so we did, and now we evolved to be much quicker than they are. They really don’t get anything aside from having all the rights they could ever ask for.”
“It’s time to take out the—” The door swung shut, pinching his fingers painfully. “Ow!” he cried, pulling his hands free and glaring at the door. “Motherfreaking balls.”
This had been a mistake, because the moment Seth had stripped off his shirt, Nick had forgotten what they were supposed to be doing.
“She,” someone else corrected him. “Just because we despise them doesn’t mean we can’t respect their pronouns. Don’t be a dick, Ernie. It’s not a good look.”
(one of at least a dozen—Nick’s interests were wide and varied, his chaotic mind knowing no limits)
What made it even better was how most of the articles were illustrated, for some reason, as if brightly colored pictures helped to explain the contents. Fun fact! They mostly did not.
Nick bellowed, gripping the sink and wondering if he and Seth were doomed to Bottom Hell for the rest of their natural lives.
Nick banged the back of his head against the desk, trying to give himself a concussion so he could potentially cause brain damage and suffer the joys of short-term memory loss.
But before we begin Burrito Jerry’s Magical Tour of Nova City, can I get your pronouns? I use he/him.”
Almost everything threatened to turn him on. Seth. Dudes in briefs on underwear packaging. Bigfoot (long story, and the less said about it, the better).
He’d never look at it and think Holy shit, that’s a goddamn monster right there.
Nick’s imagination—a wondrous, terrifying thing—had done nothing to prepare him for how real this felt.
It was in the way he held Nick as if he were something precious, something important,
“Thank you,” he whispered. “That was frickin’ rad.”
Seth shrugged. “I love you.”
“My hero,” Nick said, batting his eyes. Seth swatted his ass, a quick slap before squeezing.
He’s eighteen. You’re middle-aged! Also, he’s, like, a murderer.”
“Sexy Sex Beast Who Looks Good in Pretty Much Everything.”
“The daughter of Martin Underwood,”
Im gonna forget this probably
“I don’t think that’ll stop Burke, but for all I know, his one weakness is skinny white-boy legs. It might be his kryptonite.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Nick said, distracted. “It’s awesome. ‘Let’s fucking ruin Simon Burke’s entire life.’ That’s it.
“I wore glitter once during Pride Week when I was driving people around. I got hit on by a guy who called himself Tank, and it made me question my sexuality. Figured out I’m a bit more fluid than I thought. Good guy, Tank.”
Silence, only interrupted by Seth banging his head against the nearest wall over and over, each hit punctuated by the word why.
cerulean blue
white hats with his name in red lettering
“Queer rights!” he shouted. “Down with the patriarchy! Defund the police! Support fanfic writers!”
“Maybe consider therapy instead,”
“I don’t get it,” Trey whispered loudly to Bob. “He’s saying he’s a cat? Like, he purrs?” “They’re called furries,” Bob whispered back. “People who dress up like animals and go to conventions.”
“Whatever turns you on,” Nick said. “I don’t believe in kink-shaming, so spread those wings and fly.”
“And yet, you’re still made of water, just like everyone else.”
Blood bending moment
“Now that’s what I call playing with fire! We really need to start writing these down.”
“I am extraordinary,” Nick said to the wind.
“Oooh,” Alma said as her mother brushed grime off her cheek. “He has a boyfriend.”
And then, as if the situation couldn’t get any more ridiculous, they all shouted, “Dad Squad!” “What in the actual fuck,” Nick breathed.
“Miss Conduct will deal with the evil twink, with assistance from the DILF Squad.” “Dad Squad,” Nick corrected automatically. Miss Conduct stared at him. “I said what I said.”
“I don’t like hurting other queer people,” she told him. “But for you, I’ll make an exception.”
ADHD Is a Superpower, Neurodiverse Unite!
How he looks when he’s sleepy (so soft).
“Hey, guy. That wasn’t cool. Queer-girl weddings are the best weddings. I should know; I’ve been to six of them.”
And Jazz and Gibby, of course. Gibby, cupping Jazz’s face, kissing her sweetly as her wife smiled so brightly, people would say it was like looking directly at the sun.
“We’re extraordinary,” Nicholas Bell whispered as he closed his eyes. And breathed.
