Maeve Fly

by C.J. Leede

You do not first need to be a victim to become a monster.

“I’m a director,” he says. “Ahh,” I say. “I only watch porn.”

But what Tallulah and this city had taught me, what perhaps had always been inside, was a deep and ever-growing appreciation for pretense.

“It is. But it’s not fake. It’s a city of secrets, of discarded and fresh identities, of hidden depths, and I’m sorry to have to say this after one conversation, and I love Kate very much, but if I had to guess, I’d say you’re probably not going to make it here.”

“Fucking huge!” Kate yells to me. She might mean the earthquake. She might not.

It was the grime and the shine together. My grandmother’s black Prada boots stepping over dogshit and cigarettes.

“And how did you two meet?” I ask as my eyes follow two suited good-looking twenty-year-olds retreating to the bathroom for blow. “Get this, you’ll never guess. Guess.” He waits and watches me, full of giddy expectation. There are two things I despise in this world above all others: the first is when a person forces you to guess something as though you are a psychic or a child or could possibly be interested enough in their lives to expel brainpower to feed their narcissistic tendencies, to observe them fully and regurgitate some aspect of that observation back to them to their ultimate satisfaction, swallowing it all down like a grateful little porn star swallowing a big heaving helping of— “She’s your proctologist,” I say.

I have never understood, and still do not understand the notion that a woman must first endure a victimhood of some sort—abandonment, abuse, oppression of the patriarchy—to be monstrous.

realize now he is wearing mouse ears. Before work hours and in no official capacity. He is just wearing them.

Finally, to my most-prized reader. Thank you for lending Maeve, and me, your most precious headspace for a time. You are as vital as every neon sign, as all the fallen palm fronds. May your drinks stay frozen, your jack-o’-lanterns burn bright, and your fangs glint always in the moonlight. And may this be only the beginning of our journey together. Happy haunting.

Awwwww 🖤