At first glance, his philosophy seems to promote a life of selfish indulgence. Criticized for promoting a hedonism that would lead to the breakdown of society, Epicurean philosophy has endured much maligning over the millennia. However, a complete read of his philosophy reveals how pursuing the Epicurean ideal of pleasure actually leads to a very sedate, mindful life. Using the lens of a normal distribution curve helps us understand why and thus suggests modern uses for this ancient philosophy.