The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again

by Catherine Price

True Fun, I realized, is the feeling of being fully present and engaged, free from self-criticism and judgment. It is the thrill of losing ourselves in what we’re doing and not caring about the outcome. It is laughter. It is playful rebellion. It is euphoric connection. It is the bliss that comes from letting go. When we are truly having fun, we are not lonely. We are not anxious or stressed. We are not consumed by self-doubt or existential malaise. There is a reason that our moments of True Fun stand out in our memories: True Fun makes us feel alive.

True Fun isn’t just a result of happiness, in other words; it’s a cause.

True Fun is to create space by doing fewer things, so that you can take advantage of opportunities for True Fun in your life that already exist and spend your free time in more targeted ways.

Distraction is probably the greatest offender, since it gets in the way of all three. If we are at all distracted—if our attention is split—we cannot experience True Fun, because fun requires flow, and flow requires that we be fully present.

The fact that playfulness, connection, and flow are all active states also means that anything that could be described as passive consumption cannot, by definition, generate True Fun on its own.

The first thing we need to acknowledge is that our lives are what we pay attention to. Indeed, our attention is the most valuable resource that we have.

Think about it. We only experience what we pay attention to. We only remember what we pay attention to. Your choice of what to pay attention to in any given minute might not seem like a big deal, but taken together, these decisions are deeply consequential. As Annie Dillard has written, “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.”

If we want to be creators rather than consumers, if we want to be interesting people instead of automatons, we need to take a break from our devices and give our brains some room to breathe.

Henry Thoreau: “The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.”

Sticking to our intentions and creating balance is hard, especially when it comes to technology. We’re trying to create boundaries with devices and apps that are purposely designed to make boundary-setting difficult. We’re trying to train ourselves to resist our dopamine-fueled cravings for the sake of ultimately much more satisfying—but also harder to come by—real-life experiences. In other words, we’re fighting against powerful forces, including our own brains. So if you mess up, don’t wallow in it. Don’t hate yourself or decide that you’re a failure. Just notice what derailed you and get back on track.

I find that the following prompts can be helpful: I’m interested in learning to___________________________________________ I’m interested in learning about________________________________________ I’m curious about_______________________________ I’d like to try__________________________________ I’d like to get better at___________________________ It might sound silly, but I’d love to _____________________________________________ When I was a child I enjoyed______________________________________ Things I used to do with my free time but don’t anymore:_____________________________________ Things I always say I want to do or learn, but supposedly don’t have time for:_____________________________ I feel alive when I_______________________________

In the traditional version of three good things, you set aside ten minutes before bed for seven days and write down your three best moments from that day, paying attention to these specific details: What you did or said and (if others were involved) what they did or said How the event made you feel at the time when you experienced it, and how it makes you feel to reflect back upon it What you think caused the event—in other words, what made it come to pass

The book is the result of a project in which Gay challenged himself to write an essay about something that delighted him every single day for a year.