No, I miss the certainty of it. It made the world so . . . simple. It was us and them and that was that. The whole world was black and white. Everything was easy. And most important of all, I loved my son with such a ferocity it lit a fire within me and that fire fuelled me in the way nothing else could. “I miss missing him in that way. I miss loving him so unconditionally. I miss him and I miss the disease that made me see monsters.”
