Swoon

by Lauren Rowe

“Hey, you said you wanted to grand gesture the fuck outta Amy, right? Well, mission accomplished! You couldn’t have grand gestured her better than that.” I rub my forehead. “I’m fucked, Fish.” He puts his palm on my shoulder. “I have a feeling everything’s gonna be just fine. But if not, so what? There’ll be other movies—whereas, this was your one and only chance to beat the shit out of Seth Rockford to defend your woman’s honor.” Fish hoots with glee, which makes me laugh, too, even though I know I shouldn’t. “Unfortunately, I’m gonna look like a loose cannon psychopath to Amy when I tell her this story,” I say, “since I can’t tell her what Seth said about her. He basically called her unfuckable, Fish—and that’s one of Amy’s biggest insecurities. But if I don’t tell her about that, then why did I beat the shit out of Seth Rockford? Because he looked at her the wrong way a couple times last week? Making her think I’m a nut case isn’t quite the grand gesture I was going for here.” “Tell Amy the opposite,” Fish says. “Tell her Seth was talking shit about how much he wants to fuck her, so you snapped.” “Oooh, I like that version.”

Nice spin Fish!!!!