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“Dude. Your dad is such a dick.” “Dude. I know.” But he’s smiling now, watching me over the lip of his bottle. “You look happy. I mean, of course you are, because I’m home—” I snort. My man is a paragon of modesty. “But what else is up?”
After a brief stuttering glitch, my brain snaps back to the present and the only thing that matters: getting to Hannah right fucking now. “No,” I call back. I rip off my mic pack and toss it at Landon, who’s approaching me in concern. “I’m sorry, I have to go. There’s been an emergency.”
“Are you serious right now?” I’m so furious, my hands are actually burning with the urge to smack him. “You’re comparing me to your father? Talk about low blows.” I can’t remember the last time I was this mad at anyone.
Garrett brings a chair over to sit beside my bed and grabs my hand to squeeze it tight. “It’ll be okay,” he says roughly. It’s the first anger-less thing he’s said to me since we got in his car back at home.
My head starts spinning. How the hell am I going to keep this kid alive? Who in their right mind would trust me with a living thing entirely dependent on me for its survival? Not to mention not royally screwing him up emotionally.
How do they just let people have these things? I failed the written portion of my first driver’s test, for fuck’s sake. “It’s intimidating,” she’s saying. “I’m not sure if I’m ready to handle that, you know? Like it’s a lot. Especially without any family support…” I start doing math in my head. Thinking about pre-season and doctor visits. Traveling to away games. The baby coming in the middle of the run-up to the playoffs. As panic starts churning in my gut, I wish I had a functional family to tell me how I’m supposed to do all this stuff. Someone to teach me. “Okay then, apparently I’m
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After I eat some breakfast and put away the dishes, I give Logan a call. My best friend is hit-or-miss when it comes to giving advice, but God help me, I’m desperate.
“Hannah’s pregnant.” That stuns him into silence. “Wait, I just realized how that sounds,” I interject before he can reply. “I’m not using that as an example of a nightmare scenario. I just needed to say it and didn’t want to hear your stupid mime story anymore.” “First of all, wow.” “I know, right?”
“I meant wow, my story wasn’t stupid.” I can’t help but snort. “Second of all,” he continues. “Wow.”
His voice turns grave. “What’d you do?” “Nothing. Well, I mean, we got into a shouting match in the car, and I may or may not have compared her to my father.” Logan’s expletive thuds in my ear. “Not cool, dude. You can’t be yelling at pregnant ladies.”
“She’s pretty mad still. We were supposed to talk, but she basically blew me off this morning.” “Well, yeah, dickhead. She’s been all alone in this, and then she’s freaking out, tells you, and you flip out on her and tell her she’s like your dad? Your dad, who was spawned from Satan’s rib? Jesus, bro. She’s feeling like shit right about now, and you made it so much worse.”
“Ain’t you got flowers or nothing?” Gumby chides him in the background, shaking his head. “You gotta at least bring flowers. I got a flower guy if you need the hookup.” Nice straightens to his full height, keeping a firm grip on my elbow. “This guy doing you wrong, Hannah?” My cheeks are scorching now. “It’s fine. Don’t worry.” I address Garrett in an insistent tone. “We’ll talk about it later, Garrett. Please.” I’m growing uncomfortable with airing all of this at work. Nice directs his suspicious eyes at Garrett. “What’d you do, man?”
“Wait a minute, you thought I was moving out? You seriously have that little faith in me? I was calling the realtor for my parents, you dumbass!” Nice snickers. “I wanted to see about paying off their mortgage, so they could sell their house and get out of that town,” I finish in a huff. “I thought maybe we could use my royalty check to make it happen.” Relief floods his expression. “You’re not leaving me?” “Of course not,” I growl. Despite myself, I start to laugh. “Is that why you came all the way over here?” “What the hell else was I gonna do? Let you walk away without saying a word?” I
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“This guy cheat on you?” Nice asks. “No.” The smile surfaces. “I’m having his baby.” “Oh shit!” Gumby shouts from the control room. He throws an arm over Garrett’s shoulder and hugs him. “Congrats, bro.” “Are we?” Garrett asks, entirely focused on me. “Having this baby?” I shrug, playing it off cool. “I mean, if you’re into it.” “Yes,” he says, without hesitation. “Babe, I spent all night staring at that sonogram and sometime around three in the morning, it dawned on me—I can’t imagine not raising this kid with you. I know the season and traveling will make things more difficult, but we’ll get
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“I am so fucking sorry,” he mumbles, burying his face in my hair. “I said some pretty awful shit last night.” “You did,” I agree. He pulls back, gazing down at me with pure remorse. “I need you to know—you’re nothing like my father. I think the only reason I said that was because I’d just come from the interview and he was still on my mind. I snapped at you because I was angry with him and you were right there. But I should have never, ever said that. I’m sorry.”
My breath catches. “What?” “I love you. Maybe more than I ever have.” “We’re having a baby,” I say, grinning with both excitement and still a bit of trepidation. “Bet your ass we are.”
though it might be harder for her because in that same text thread we learned that she and Tuck had both accepted jobs in Manhattan and will be leaving Boston at the end of the summer. I’m happy for them, but I can’t help but feel bummed that Tucker, the only dad I know, won’t be in close proximity to me anymore.
“I was thinking,” Hannah says as she raises her mug to her lips. “We should get married.” I’m in the middle of pouring some orange juice, and my hand freezes mid-pour. “Oh yeah?” I keep my tone casual. She takes a demure sip, then flashes a little smile. “If you’re into it.”
“Yeah, I could be into it.” “Cool.” “You want me to get you a ring?” “Obviously. Just don’t make it as big as Allie’s. I’m not a psycho.” I bite my cheek to stop from laughing. “That’s it? That’s our proposal?” “I mean, we love each other and we’re having a baby. Isn’t that all that matters? Who needs speeches?” She’s right. “Who needs speeches,” I echo, grinning. “Now. Please.” I take her coffee mug and guide her toward the staircase. “Go back to bed. And don’t you dare get up on the roof while I’m gone.” “Can I at least do some vacuuming?”
If I didn’t set a better example for my son and then someday someone hurt him, and he was too embarrassed and ashamed to tell me? There are kids out there, adults, who are still living with these same scars. If I can help some of them overcome their fears, then yeah, I can make the sacrifice and suffer a couple of hours on camera pulling open the wounds.
“I’m really proud of you.” I kiss the top of her head, holding her tighter. “So proud,” she repeats. Those words mean more to me than she’ll ever understand. Truth is, I wouldn’t have gotten this far without her. She was the first person who helped me find some kind of peace with my past, and it’s with her support I’ve found my way to the courage to confront it. She makes me a better man. And, hopefully, a good father.
“A dolly!!” Jamie shrieks when the contents of the box are revealed. “A dolly for your baby, Auntie ’Annah!” I withdraw my hand as if I’d just burned it on a hot stove. My betrayed gaze flies to Tucker and Sabrina, who smile innocently before nodding toward their daughter. “Jamie saw this adorable little guy in Tuck’s suitcase when we got back from St. Barth’s,” Sabrina chirps. “Can you believe he floated right back to shore like he couldn’t bear to part with us?” Tuck pipes up. “It’s like he knew exactly where he belonged.” Sabrina nods. “At first we were going to let Jamie keep him—” I
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but when we told her Auntie Hannah and Uncle Garrett were going to have a baby, she decided she couldn’t possibly be selfish and deprive the new baby of this joyous gift. Right, little one?” “Right!” Jamie smiles. “Do you like him?” I stare at Alexander’s smirking red mouth, dread filling my gut.
Then, pasting on a big fake smile, I address the little girl. “I love it,” I tell Jamie. While beside me, Garrett mouths “You’re dead” to Jamie’s paren...
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Sabrina nods enthusiastically. “Wild.” “So we said to Jamie, hey, what’s better than one doll for Auntie Hannah’s baby? And what did you say back, princess?” “I said two!” Jamie dances around her father’s legs. This poor innocent child whose parents recruited her to do their malevolent bidding.
They had to know that if Jamie wasn’t here right now, I’d be trying to shove Alexander in the garbage disposal.
“And don’t you worry, she comes with a verified biography. It’s in the box. Some fun reading for later.” Tucker winks. “We don’t want to spoil it for you, but let’s just say while Alexander and Willie were traversing the California Trail, Cassandra here served as a wonderful companion for a child in a German insane asylum.” “Yayyyyy!” Jamie starts clapping, clearly ignorant to what most of those words mean. “Yay,” Garrett says weakly.
I look over, slightly alarmed. “What’s up?” “I couldn’t be sure during your last visit because of the position of the fetus. However, it’s quite clear now.” My pulse spikes. “Something wrong?” Garrett asks, sitting forward as we both stare at the screen. “Congratulations,” she announces with a grin. “You’re having twins.”
“Twins?” I echo stupidly. “You serious, Doc?” “Twins?” I say again. “Like two?” “Two,” she confirms. Garrett’s face collapses. “I only bought one jersey.” “Can you tell the sexes?” I ask, squinting at the screen as if I can discern it myself. “It’s still a bit early. From what I can see, though, yes, I believe we can tell. Would you like to know?” My pulse spikes as I turn toward Garrett. Our gazes lock, and he nods. “Yes,” I tell the doctor. “We want to know.” “You’re having a baby boy…and a baby girl.”
