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Three P’s of Victory: parties, praise, and pussy.
“Babe, you’ve gotta stop revealing all your crazy up front. Seriously. Save all that stuff for later, when you’re in a relationship with the guy and it’s harder for him to run away.”
Nice that she asked me if I wanted to leave when she’d already made the decision for us.
Chicks appreciate a nice cock shot.
fs no shit
“Just out of curiosity, what constitutes a ‘nice cock shot’? I mean, is it the lighting? The pose?”
“Remember that girl I was dating last year? Sheena? Well, she texted me a picture of her tits. Said I had to return the favor.”
and I give myself a mental pat on the back.
He’s so laidback, and besides, it’s hard to feel intimidated by a guy when he’s chomping away on gummy bears.
Kissing Logan is the single most incredible thing I’ve ever experienced. Forget that family vacation to Egypt when I was nine. The glory of the pyramids and temples and the frickin’ Sphinx is nothing compared to the feel of this guy’s lips on mine.
Her naked body makes my cock ache.
They don’t believe me.
Bullshit
Or maybe to slide my hand down her pants and give her a birthday present to remember.
So you’re using her to not think about Hannah?
Hell nah dude
Am I?
:(:
Nope, what I have a problem with is the fact that she’s a total bitch who spreads nasty rumors and gossips more than a Hollywood tabloid.
What the hell is the matter with people? It’s infuriating how they grant themselves the right to say whatever hurtful poison they want, without giving a shit about the person they’re hurting.
I appreciate a man who works with his hands. No, who actually knows how to use his hands.
“I don’t know. Stick your finger in his ass when you’re blowing him.”
Wtf
I broke up with her to avoid getting into a serious relationship with her, and now it turns out that’s what I wanted all along.
play-by-play of V-Night,
Either way, a new year equals a new me. Or rather, an improved version of the old me.
I’m turning into Grace.
Poor you
“best friends suffer together or not at all.”
We don’t know each other very well, but everything I do know about you, I like. And everything I don’t know, I want to find out.”
“Bros before hos, dude.” “Call my girlfriend a ho one more time and you won’t have a bro.”
big dick energy
How do you feel about glitter? And dick pics? Her: If there’s a pic of your dick on that collage, I’m photocopying it and passing it around in the student center. Me: Bad idea. You’ll give all the other dudes an inferiority complex. Her: Or an ego boost.
get rekt
God, I want to throw my arms around him and squeeze all the cuteness out of him.
Just because I like watching them play doesn’t mean I want them to play me.”
beat you to death with a pillowcase full of soap bars.”
“I just want to fall asleep with you. And wake up with you. And go down on you, if you’re in the mood for a John Logan orgasm.”
“Don’t throw out the condoms.”
“Horror movies don’t scare me. They piss me off because the characters are always so frickin’ stupid.
