“Sweetie, he obviously feels bad about what happened, otherwise he wouldn’t be trying to contact you. And…well, you were going to, ah…give him your flower—” I do a literal spit take. Coffee drizzles down my chin and neck, and I quickly grab a napkin to wipe it away before it stains my pajama top. “Oh my God. Mom. Don’t ever say that again. I beg of you.” “I was trying to be parental,” she says primly. “There’s parental, and then there’s Victorian England.” “All right. You were going to fuck him—” “That’s not parental either!”