The Opposite of Butterfly Hunting: The Tragedy and the Glory of Growing Up

by Evanna Lynch

The problem was, they were treating a mental condition in the same way they’d approach any other purely physical ailment they saw in other children. Whip out the appendix and watch the child’s health restore. Feed the child and watch the eating disorder melt away. Except it wasn’t that. It was more like: stuff the eating disorder with food so no one has to see it anymore. But eating disorders are not problems with eating (at least not initially); those are the superficial symptoms that make their way to the surface. Anorexia had been there before anyone could see it. It was an invisible condition and could not be treated by visible means. Dr Nolan and his team hadn’t really concerned themselves with why the condition had taken root in the first place, and five weeks in, it was just simmering angrily, invisible once again, beneath all their food. So, was it my fault later on when it came screaming back?